Of Sameness and Change
by Maybe Now
Summary: Because Sasuke wasn't supposed to come back on his own, without them. And he definitely wasn't supposed to come back with his own team. sasu/saku, team 7, team hebi/taka
1. one

**Title:** Of Sameness and Change

**Chapter:** one

**Pairing:** [eventual] sasu/saku

**an:** revamping my stories, editing them and making them appear more cohesive. Also, transferring my documents to my laptop. Please read and review! I know it's been a long time since I've updated but I promise I'm coming back to this.

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**of sameness and change**

_one_

She knew, sitting there, mulling over her two-thirds empty glass of sake, that it was her own fault.

Low, snarky laughter rumbled around the room.

Sakura sat at the bar in the dark, low-ceilinged tavern. It wasn't exactly the type of place she'd usually chose to frequent, but tonight she didn't really want to run into anybody she knew.

The gruff, aloof bartender behind the counter crossed her vision again, drying the inside of a mug with a dirtied dishrag. She sensed his eyes on her without seeing—detecting such direct attention was hardly something she had to concentrate on anymore. She was aware that she looked out of place—her pink hair shown like a beacon amidst the heavy, dark tones of the bar.

The other men at the bar had scooted their stools slightly away from hers, her heavy emotions evidently taking up more space than she could contain in her body. She sat with her elbows on the counter, observing the sake swirl around the glass as she rotated it.

She hadn't left her apartment tonight in her usual appearance. If she had, if she had come in with her normal cherry, pink and beige outfit, wide smile, sparkling green eyes, she knew that those men's barstools wouldn't have repelled away from her own.

Which is exactly why she hadn't. Tonight, she had slipped into black pants she acquired for an assassination mission—tight around the calves, loose around the thighs—and black vest. Her armguards signaled to the occupants of the room that she was a ninja, and they steered clear of her. Which was good. The purpose she was here was to be alone.

She hadn't had to work on changing from her normal expression to become rather unapproachable—there was reason enough for that.

She exhaled loudly through her nose.

He had come back.

Sasuke had come back—not Naruto dragging him back, he, _Sasuke_ had come back.

She had been at home when it happened, but Naruto had witnessed it from the village's gates. Sasuke had appeared, finally, making purposeful strides towards Konoha of his own volition, he was coming _home_—

But he was not alone.

It was her fault that she let a small part of herself believe that when he came back, he would want them the same way they wanted him.

It had been five years since he left. Five years was too much time to not influence someone to change, no matter how stagnate they appeared.

Flanking Sasuke had been his team, Team Hebi… Taka… whatever Sasuke called them now. Karin, Juugo, and Suigetsu walked beside him in an unconsciously habitual manner, it looked natural, like breathing.

This is what she gathered from what Naruto said. She had been hunched over a medical textbook in her apartment when he had burst in, the room's energy activating as his presence attempted to fill it. She remembered having to decide that he looked… happy, and the fact that she had to decide such a thing changed her quick analysis of his emotions.

He had seemed excited enough, what with the return of his proclaimed brother, and he spoke a million miles per hour as she tried to process the information.

He had come back? But why now? And with them?

She still hadn't gotten her head around it as Naruto left, no doubt speeding off to Hogake Tower to try talking to Sasuke.

She still hadn't spoken or even seen him, she noted, taking another sip of her sake.

She and Naruto had tried—and failed—many times to bring Sasuke home, where he belonged with them on their team, Team 7, and yet after all of their repeated failures, he now suddenly decided that he should come back.

She knew that she should be happy. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? To have Sasuke back home was a majority of what she thought about, and now he was. He had signed paperwork with Tsunade. A trial to deliberate his punishment had been set, Naruto had later breathlessly informed her, having sprinted back to her small apartment after he had heard the news.

She should be happy that the man, she was—had been—used to be—was—in love with had returned back to the village, _back to her._

This was where she knew she was wrong. Sasuke hadn't come back to them, back to her.

The evidence lay in the team he brought with him, the team he had created.

He hadn't wanted them. He hadn't needed them. He found others that he did want, chose teammates that he did want.

She and Naruto had been forced upon him.

It was her fault that she somehow continued to hold onto hope that Sasuke would want his old team back.

The gravelly voice of the bartender broke her mulling.

"Another?" he asked, gesturing at the near-empty glass in her hand with the dingy dishrag.

She nodded. "Half," she said disinterestedly and placed the glass down, scooting it closer to the opposite side of the counter with a nudge from the back of her finger.

Quickly, a half-empty glass returned to her hands.

He had been back for five days.

She hadn't seen him yet.

Naruto had. He always managed someway to find her, and when he did, he was befit with his characteristic grin, and bubbled with facts about how Sasuke was back, he was back, he was really back, Sakura-chan, and he's staying this time.

He never mentioned Team Hebi, but she suspected that their existence bothered him too.

In these five days, he had only asked once why she hadn't visited him yet, how had she not seen him, he was in the hospital, didn't she work there, but she only gave him a tight smile paired with tighter eyes, and an unsatisfactory answer that he didn't probe.

She was grateful that in these past five years, Naruto had learned some restraint.

The fact was, she had been avoiding the hospital.

It seemed natural that she would want to be the one to heal him, to show him how she'd improved before his very eyes.

But she couldn't.

It was so easy for Naruto to attempt a conversation with Sasuke, but she was beginning to realize something.

She was embarrassed.

And rightfully so, she added in her mind. The last real conversation she'd shared with Sasuke had been a disaster that resulted in him completely and coldly rejecting her loudly proclaimed love for him, and walking away from her, the village, Naruto, completely undeterred.

Naruto, at least, had fought tooth and bone with him, a respectable fight of equals, of brothers, that had turned sour.

It was at least one in the morning. She should get home.

Standing silently, gracefully, she slid the proper amount on the counter before slinking out the door.

She was acting pathetic, weak.

She was letting her emotions run her actions, keeping her from doing her duty, something she hadn't allowed since she'd grown up and learned to control them.

The night breeze had a slight chill on its edge, and it did some to bite the haze of the alcohol.

She would return to the hospital tomorrow.

* * *

The morning was mockingly bright.

When Sakura woke up, it had been difficult to bypass her dark ensemble from the night before. It reflected some of the progress she'd made from weak kunoichi she'd been in the past.

She held no shame in the vest, skirt and shorts she wore now, it was just that she wanted to approach Sasuke with a physical representation of how she'd changed.

And maybe so she could remind herself too.

The clothes chafed as she made her way up the road.

The hospital loomed into view, the familiarity washing over her, but Sakura walked up to the entrance with a sense of dread.

She pushed the double glass doors open purposefully, taking a steadying breath. She could do this. She was the best of the best. Tsunade-sama had trained her. She could handle this.

Sakura strode over to the reception desk and held out her hand for her charts.

Three were plopped into her hand. She brought them into her arms and began flipping through to see the names:

_Karin…._

"Your patients today are the nins that Uchiha brought in…"

_Suigetsu… Juugo…._

"Hogake-sama checked them in for 'examination and evaluation.'"

Sakura took a deep breath. Okay. So fix any wounds while gathering a medical standpoint of their capabilities.

She thanked the woman at the desk and headed for the stairs. Their room was located in a wing on the top floor, the tenth, where only top security patients were located. With a sort of bitter satisfaction, Sakura knew this to mean that Tsunade did not quite trust them or their intentions yet.

The stairway was relatively empty, which wasn't much of a surprise because most usually opted for the elevator. However, Sakura had wanted the distraction, however menial, and the time delay of walking up the ten flights of stairs.

For the first five floors, Sakura tried to meditate, to not think of anything of all.

Not only did that not work, but she gave up at the fifth.

Sakura really did not want to do this. To treat these people, these three shinobi that Sasuke had singled out himself, had chosen to aid him in one of his most important goals… She did not want to feel jealous of these people. Not jealous that he'd chosen them over her and Naruto.

Seeing those three here in Konoha would solidify their significance to Sasuke. Why else would he bring them back?

No, somehow, Sasuke must have created bonds with them, bonds that he was not as willing to cut as he'd been with her and Naruto. Hebi had helped Sasuke kill Itachi, after all. Maybe providing support during that sort of trial created something irremovable.

It hurt to consider, but Sakura knew it could be true.

She'd never really thought much of the team, though, to be honest. While she was aware of Karin's odd, but rare, manner of healing, and invaluable and immensely powerful talent of chakra sensory, Karin was just _so weak_ in the area of combat. Sakura knew that Karin's other talents made her considerably useful, especially to someone like Sasuke who had to find a way to track down Itachi, but in a battle Karin was potentially useless.

They had clashed with Team Hebi a few times during their multiple 'Sasuke retrieval' missions—it was inevitable that they'd fight someday.

Sakura had found the camp first. Sasuke was nowhere in sight, which probably could have been predicted, but the three they knew to be his new team were sitting around a fire.

Two had sprung up immediately as she entered the clearing.

The one with the sword, Suigetsu, began sputtering to his female teammate, Karin. "But-wha- you said they were just passing by, not aiming at us! What is your problem, bitch!"

Karin had visibly fumed, but instead, watching as Sakura waited on the outskirts of the trees for her teammates, said loudly, so she could hear, "Meh. Didn't think she'd be too much for us to handle. I mean, come on—Look at her. That pink hair is hideous."

Sakura knew she had to wait for Naruto and Kakashi and Sai, but it was going to be difficult if that bitch kept talking.

Suigetsu snorted. "Well, she better not be. And actually," he stroke a contemplative pose, "I think she's kinda hot."

Sakura rolled her eyes and Karin's face twisted in annoyance.

"Hey, you!" Karin called, "What are you doing here?"

"Where is Sasuke," she said plainly.

Karin stiffened. "Why do you want to know?" she asked haughtily.

"He's… an old friend," she decided to say. Perhaps he was soon returning, and stalling now wouldn't warn him of their presence as a fight would. "I need to speak with him."

"'Old friend'?" Karin echoed. "Sasuke-kun doesn't want to talk to you. He has _me_ now!"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes, muttering something like "_Us,_ he has _us_."

Sakura snorted. "He doesn't need you. You're just pawns for him to complete his goal. You're useless."

So much for not creating a fight, as the girl came sprinting at her at her words. As she took a defensive stance, she noted that Suigetsu had only put an exasperated hand to his head. The third, Jugo, still sat at the campfire impassively.

Karin had been slow, she remembered, limited and left considerable openings with her weak taijutsu. It had been relatively easy to knock her out, only a dozen or so moves.

The rest of her team had arrived by the time the others rose to defend their fallen teammate.

When Sasuke had arrived, he of course created a perfect opportunity for him and his team to escape them without being pursued. They all left, Sasuke picking up Karin before disappearing.

The door to the tenth floor sat before her.

Suigetsu and Juugo, she could admit, were strong shinobi. Karin just rubbed her the wrong way.

She strode down the hallway purposefully, keeping her posture straight and dignified. The ANBU let her pass through the door to their room with a nod.

Sakura steeled herself, and closed the door with a slight thud.

She turned to the room.

Juugo was sitting on the bed closest to the window, calmly observing the scene outside. Suigetsu, somehow still with his sword, toyed with the handle while smirking up at her. Karin, the closest to the door and to her, huffed impatiently, crossing her arms and staring the other way.

"Hey, Karin, she's that one chick that handed your ass to you," Suigetsu announced gleefully. "Oh wait, there's too many of those for you to keep count!"

Next to him, Karin growled. "Shut UP!" she hissed. "She did not, you idiot! I wasn't even trying," she sneered, directing the last comment up at her.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Sure thing," she muttered sarcastically as she idly opened one of the charts.

She had just begun to skim Karin's chart when her concentration was broken with a soft, "Hello."

Her eyebrow shooting up in surprise, she looked up at Juugo. He had his hands calmly folded in his lap, and his eyes looked kind.

"Hi," she timidly replied. He was where the curse seal originated? Sakura felt pity for him as he gave her a smile and resumed looking out of the window.

Her attention was diverted back to Suigetsu as he began speaking again.

"Don't worry," he said with a toothy smirk, "I remember you. It's too bad we had to get going so fast, things could've gotten interesting." He raised an eyebrow.

She didn't like his suggestive tone.

"Pity," she said.

She should start. The sooner she began, the sooner she'd be done.

Treat them like all other patients, she reminded herself. Be clinical. Be professional.

She breathed sharply out of her nose.

Shuffling Karin's chart to the back, she opened Juugo's. She calmly strode across the room to his bed.

"I am Haruno Sakura and I will be performing your examinations and evaluations today," she said, slipping into her routine bedside manner. "Please comply with all of my instructions and remain quiet and still unless I ask otherwise."

She heard Karin's derisive snort in the background, but she instead turned her focus on Jugo.

She gave him a small smile. "You're up first."

He nodded.

"Take off your shirt and lie flat on your back, please," she ordered, and as soon as instructions were followed, a glowing green hand was placed in the middle of Juugo's expansive chest.

She was concentrated on her work, but she heard some of Suigetsu and Karin's comments.

"...I'm not letting her touch me…"

"…I _can't wait_ for her to touch me. I hope I'm next…"

Inwardly she sighed.

* * *

Sakura rested her forehead on the counter, closing her eyes and sighing.

"Two miso ramens, please!" Naruto yelled.

"How was your day?" he asked cheerfully, but she knew that he was more interested than he was letting on.

With another sigh, she sat up, still leaning on the counter with most of her arms.

"Okay, I guess," she replied monotonously, and at her response Naruto's expressive eyes dulled before they lowered.

Sakura frowned. She hated when Naruto was unhappy… it was just so innately _wrong_.

"Did you…" he hesitated. "Did you see-"

"No, not today," she said, cutting him off. The corners of his mouth pulled down, and his eyes looked sad.

Naruto thanked the man quietly for the ramen as the two bowls appeared. He pushed one towards her and ate a little of his own before turning back to her.

"But Sakura-chan" he said softly, looking at his hands before meeting her eyes again, "It's Sasuke. I mean… I guess I thought you'd be happy he's back."

His eyes were infinitely deep as she held his gaze. She looked down at the ramen. She was happy that he had avoided verbally addressing the life-promise he had made her, all those years ago, even if he wasn't the one to bring Sasuke back…

Sakura didn't really want to talk about it, but she supposed she owed Naruto as her teammate and friend, who was experiencing the same thing as she, some type of response.

She bit her lip. "I… I am, or I would be…" She shook her head. "You've seen him, right? How is he?"

Naruto's blue eyes observed her a little longer before answering.

"Yeah, I've seen him a couple times. He's… he's good, not exactly like he was before—not like that would necessarily be a good thing—but he's not as cold." He chuckled, "He still doesn't like to talk a lot."

He shrugged. "I haven't really got to see him for very long at all, just a couple minutes here and there. He looked… tired. Tsunade baa-chan wanted you to do a check-up on him soon, so I thought maybe today you would have seen him."

Sakura nodded. "Actually, today my patient's were his… team," she said, and the word was bitter in her mouth.

It didn't sound good to Naruto either. "I still don't get that…" he said sadly, but determination began to show back into his eyes as he met hers again. "But he's Team 7. Once Team 7, always Team 7. He missed us, believe it! He's just being Sasuke, he doesn't know how to say or show it. Just you wait!" he pronounced.

She smiled, trying to hope that this was true.

"Yeah…"

Naruto flashed her a grin before returning to his ramen.

"I have to go," she announced, "I used a lot of chakra today and I'm tired. You can have the rest of my ramen!" she called over her shoulder, already about to turn out of the place, "Hopefully it isn't too cold!"

* * *

She didn't care what the ANBU guarding the room thought of her as she stood, eyes closed, forehead resting against the door, hand gripping the door knob.

Through this door was Sasuke.

Tsunade-sama had already briefed her about his general condition: exhaustion, sore eyes (most likely as a result of overusing the Sharingan,) a few minor injuries, and, requiring the most of her attention, a festering, infected wound on his chest. It wasn't fatal, but it hadn't started to heal naturally properly.

It sounded like there was enough already to keep her busy, and it's not like Sasuke was going to be demanding of her, say anything, or pressure any answers from her. He was just going to sit there, silent, and count the seconds until she was done.

She frowned. She wasn't going to fawn over him. If he expected her to, well, then he would be in for a surprise. She and Naruto had gone through hell for him, would have gone through hell for him, and instead he randomly decides he can come back with this replacement team.

She would be professional.

With a deep breath, she turned the handle.

She didn't look up until the door was firmly shut behind her.

There he was. Sitting with his back straight on the bed was Sasuke. His dark eyes were trained on her, the disturbance to the utter silence in the room.

It was harder to remember to not hurry to his side, cup his face, validate that he was real, cry, yell, talk when he was right there, looking at her.

However, she quickly reeled her emotions back inside. She only let out a small "Oh!" and her hand shot up to cover her mouth, as if to erase the noise.

He blinked.

Suddenly, she was nervous. Irrational, stupid, she thought vehemently. You're a damn good medic-nin, the only one better than you is Tsunade-sama, there's nothing there—she thought of the general direction of Sasuke—that you can't handle. Lock up your emotions this instant.

She turned her back to him, setting his chart down on the sterile counters lining the room.

"Um… Hi Sasuke!" she tried not to squeak. Her face flushed. If only he would say something back… make this a little less awkward… but he only nodded before looking away.

She couldn't help but give a small smile. He could have just ignored her.

"Um… Tsunade-sama had given me some brief details of your condition, and requested I heal you. So…" she cautiously approached his bedside, "If you would please remove your shirt?"

It was only with years of practice that her voice remained level and professional.

"Aa," he said before easily complying, balling the shirt in his hand once he'd removed it.

Sakura blinked and again reminded herself that she'd seen hundreds of men with no shirts on and with the musculature to compare with him, but she knew that since it was Sasuke and he had just removed his shirt for her made it different in a small corner of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to compress it.

Inwardly, she scolded herself.

"I'm just going to probe around, see what I should fix first." Her hands were both already enveloped in her green chakra—it was hardly something she had to concentrate anymore on to do. The ease of this action brought a small, pleased smile to her face.

His dark, bottomless eyes studied her hands before flitting back to resume looking at her. She was beginning to feel a little self-conscious.

She averted her eyes before looking back at him. "Yeah," she said, just to fill the silence, mentally berating herself for how stupid it sounded.

His lips twitched, almost appearing like he was going to say something, but the movement stopped, and his eyes, after flitting away, only came back to meet hers.

"Okay," she said, "I'm going to start now. Please lie flat on your back," she instructed, and she waited as he did so.

Steadily, she leaned over to place her hands square on his chest. She felt a shiver run down her spine with the foolish, unneeded evidence that he was real, he was _really here._

Sasuke was just staring at her hands.

With a quick quirk of her eyebrow, she focused her concentration at the task at hand. However, her eyes shot closed and her brow furrowed when her chakra met strong resistance. She let out a sharp breath and tried pushing past it, but it wouldn't budge, wouldn't let her in. She bit her lip and pushed her chakra out with more force, but to no avail.

He probably didn't know it, didn't realize it but-

"What's wrong," came his voice, in his usual monotonous tone, but her eyes shot open to the fact that he'd actually said something.

He was studying her face, and the only hint she had that he was concerned was the quizzical tilt of an eyebrow.

She gave a sheepish smile. "Please, don't fight my chakra. You need to relax."

"Karin seemed to do fine."

Her smile tightened at the retort. His tone didn't accuse, necessarily, but she felt the shot to her abilities nonetheless. And _Karin_? Inwardly she seethed.

"Well, I'm not Karin," she stated flatly. "We should both be happy for that."

"Hn."

She didn't bother fighting her eye-roll. She met his challenging eyes.

"_Karin_ doesn't heal like a normal medic-nin. Karin probably has a limited knowledge of actual medical jutsu, because all that is required of her is to be there. You only have to bite her."

She took a deep, calming breathe.

"_Karin_, though I'm sure without doubt helpful, is not as proficient, efficient, or sufficient as I am in this field. She can't heal without disastrous effects to her chakra levels and strength.

"Now, please relax, and let me do my job," she finished forcefully.

He let out a small "Che" before giving a sigh and making a show of shutting his eyes.

"Hn," he said, and she impatiently wondered whether this meant 'Go on' or 'Sure thing' or 'I don't believe you can heal but try anyway' or whatever.

Now that she was annoyed, it wasn't as shocking to be in his presence. She wanted to leave now for other reasons.

She put her hands on his chest again.

This time she immediately closed her eyes, realizing that it would take more concentration to accomplish her goals. As she met the resistance once again, she felt him tense and stiffen. Squeezing her eyes shut, she applied a sharp jolt with her chakra to remind him to ease up.

Slowly, the resistance weakened until it all together disappeared.

With a satisfied smile, she probed his body with her chakra, examining muscle tissue, organs, chakra channels…

Inwardly she recorded spots of interest, and at that time her mind was running on autopilot.

"Tsunade… she was your sensei."

He stated it as a fact, but one that needed to be validated.

She was shocked he'd spoken again. She opened her eyes to find his meeting hers before he shut his eyes again.

"Yes, yes she was…" She said cautiously. "She has little to teach me now, but she will still regiment some of my training sessions from time to time to observe my improvements."

A corner of his lips twitched.

"Hn."

She stared at him oddly before shutting her eyes again.

"And Naruto… with Jiraiya?"

With some incredulity, she opened her eyes to meet his again.

"Yes," she stated. "Naruto did train under Jiraiya."

"Hm," he uttered with a slight tilt of amusement.

"Yeah," she said with a hesitant smile.

The feeling in her stomach began to sink though, as the unspoken fact that Sasuke had trained with Orochimaru, the last of the three legendary Sannin, and had willingly thrown Konoha aside to do it.

She refrained from saying it, but she was pretty sure he read it in her eyes before he closed his again.

She did the same.

When she finished, she took her hands off his chest and pulled a stool up to the side of his bed close to his chest.

He stared at her impassively.

She already had a plan of action, and the first dealt with the wound on his chest.

"This," she said, finger unconsciously tracing the wound down his side opposite his heart—but she quickly removed it as his eyes shot down to locate the disturbance—"How did you get this?"

He propped himself up on his elbows. If it aggravated the wound, he did not show it.

He shrugged. "A month ago with a sword."

She rolled her eyes at his minimal response.

"What village…" she began leadingly.

"Amegakure."

Her eyebrows lifted in interest, but refrained from asking. He wouldn't have answered, but she was wondering how it came to be.

"Okay. Well, the sword was poisoned," she stated pointedly, "Which would account for the remains I uncovered in your bloodstream, and the unnatural healing," she said, gesturing at the purple and green coloring of the scabbing.

His eyebrow rose as he contemplated it, before looking at her to continue.

She was getting better at being under his stare. Her heart didn't beat nearly as fast.

"The poison is simple, easy to remove with a potion, but I will have to reverse the damage it did as the body tried to repair the wound before repairing it myself. It shouldn't take long, and it won't be very difficult."

She stood up decisively, flitting back to the cabinets to retrieve the potion necessary. It wasn't necessarily a common poison, but common enough to have an antidote on hand.

Sasuke watched her as she returned with the vial.

"One swallow," she instructed, and his hand did not touch hers as he took the vial from her.

Wordlessly, he handed it back when he finished.

"Okay," she said. "I'm going to repair the damage now."

He scooted down to lie on his back once more.

"Please, don't resist my chakra again. And also," she said with a bit of a dubious smile, "Please refrain from speaking while I work. I will need to focus on this one to heal it."

"Hn," he said, but she didn't miss his smirk before she closed her eyes and placed her hands on his chest once more.


	2. two

**Title: **Of Sameness and Change

**Chapter: **two

**Pairing: **[eventual] sasu/saku

**an: **Enjoy! Leave a review!

.

**of sameness and change**

_two_

She eased off the pressure bearing down on Sasuke's wound from her healing hands, running her fingers—still alight with her usual green chakra—down the length of the wound.

Sakura sat back with a small, satisfied smirk gazing at the now puckered, pink, healthy scar running down Sasuke's torso.

Sasuke, breaking his blank stare at her, looked down at his chest, gently probing the newly healed area.

Apparently deciding it sufficient, he gazed coolly back up at her.

His expression bristled her. All she could see in those eyes were her incompetence.

She shook off the feeling. She didn't need his approval anymore, she reminded herself. She didn't need anything from him, just as he didn't need her.

Contemplatively, Sakura met his stare, trying to determine her next action.

She couldn't deny that, though the procedure had been relatively simple (for her standards,) it had been quite chakra consuming to unravel the tissue in order to weave it back together properly. She didn't have enough chakra to begin easing his eyes—that would have to wait for another day.

He did have a few fractures in the bones of his forearm, as well as his shins, injuries common from parrying strong opponents. She supposed she'd fix most of those before leaving—

"Have you attended to my teammates?" he questioned coolly.

She caught her involuntary wince before it reached beyond the tightening of her mouth. Sakura had almost forgotten that she had been staring at him as she refocused onto his unreadable eyes.

She couldn't believe he had asked.

"Yes," she intoned flatly, answering despite her large desire not to.

"Hn," he responded, breaking eye contact with her to stare out the window.

It appeared he was not going to inquire further, and Sakura desperately tried to suffocate the persistent thoughts flooding her mind, because he had _asked_ about them, he had asked about _them_—

"Karin," he introduced simply. Her chest tightened significantly at her name—what now?—and he gave her a quick glance, but didn't say anything.

She waited, but he only returned to gazing out the window.

"Yes?" she inquired tersely, not able to bear the silence anymore.

"How were her chakra levels?" he asked, though his voice barely signified he was asking a question.

Sakura, she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and relay the information—he, _Sasuke_ was, he was—

Hard eyes briefly glared at her before flicking away again.

Suppressing a growl, Sakura answered.

"Low, but recovering."

She watched his expression, a bit hungrily, even, for anything, but all she picked up on was an incline of the head.

"And Suigetsu's health?"

Her fists clenched where they lay in her lap, struggling to hold her tongue so as to prevent an outburst demanding when he ever started to care.

His eyes sent her another warning, and Sakura had to remind herself that she had the higher ground here, there were ANBU behind that door, Sasuke's chakra was depleted in itself, and that the hint of an intimidating threat in his eye was baseless.

Regardless, because, she noted bitterly, Sasuke was actually speaking to her, she answered again.

"Perfectly fine," she stated coolly, but she had to control her tone in itself because how Suigetsu was 'perfectly fine' was a mystery in itself.

The evidence of a hard battle and the wear and tear of prolonged travel reeked off of Hebi. Juugo, Karin, Sasuke, it was all over them. However, there was hardly a trace on Suigetsu, except for his insistent request for more fluids.

"Hn," Sasuke replied disinterestedly, and resumed his study of the window.

She hated his questions, and vehemently hoped he would ask no more.

Sakura took a deep calming breathe, and it was during this process that the pieces fit together.

Karin's low chakra levels. Suigetsu's odd, nearly perfect physical status.

Thanks to Sasuke's questioning, she'd put together the now glaring simple realization that Suigetsu must have bit Karin recently.

Her stomach twisted. Suigetsu must have been severely wounded, determined by the small amount of chakra Karin had left. Her concern wasn't for Suigetsu. But Sasuke had _asked_—

"Why are you still here?"

A small place in her stomach burned like acid at his annoyed, superior tone.

"Because I'm your goddamn medic, and we aren't finished here yet."

Sasuke's look was coldly mocking at her outburst.

"Well then what's the delay?"

A breathe hissed through her teeth as she tried to reign in her emotions.

In a force neutrality, she replied evenly, "Because I don't have enough chakra to finish everything today, so I'm deciding what I should do next."

His eyes flicked away from her, but he didn't look entirely satisfied with her answer.

"You trained with Tsunade?" he asked again, and the repetition of the question inflicted a layer of doubt on her abilities in his tone.

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath in order to suppress her angry instincts. She was here with Sasuke, and he had reduced her to a state of irritation she normally associated with how she felt before she beat Naruto's head in.

Inwardly, she shook her head. It was a little deeper than that, and it was a slow, heavy burn in her stomach.

"Yes."

He rolled his eyes only as Sasuke could before settling back into the pillows.

She eyed him as he resumed looking out the window.

Was she really so sure she still loved him? Watching him, she couldn't deny that physically, she could still appreciate his good looks, but her body was filled with a heavy mixture of anger, hurt, and bitterness.

This checkup had started of good, neutral, but it had become a downwards spiral and Sakura didn't know how much more she could take.

She remained watching him for one more moment before taking neat and calculated strides towards the door, picking up Sasuke's chart on the way.

She passed by Sasuke without a glance.

"Where are you going?" came a cold voice from behind her.

Sakura barely turned around, pleased that she had the power to leave, to walk away when he couldn't, but another part that she tried to ignore was shocked that she was choosing to walk away.

"I'm leaving," she said lightly, subtly mocking his inability to go past the ANBU outside.

She could tell he caught that at his reply, his anger simmering under the surface.

"I thought you said you _weren't finished_," he sneered.

Hand on the doorknob, she couldn't help but turn around and meet his cold eyes.

"Yes, well, I can't waste all of my chakra on you, now can I? I have more important patients to attend to," she said smoothly, and the last glimpse she saw of him was of his lips curling into a scowl before she turned and stormed out the door.

Sakura was taking irritated strides towards the elevator when the ANBU called out to her.

"Sakura-san!"

Praying for the patience to wait until she got to a safe training ground before releasing her pent up anger, she slowly pivoted on the spot.

The voice spoke from behind the white mask. "Lady Tsunade summons you to her office as soon as you finish on the Uchiha."

"Fantastic," she muttered sarcastically before nodding shortly to the ANBU guarding Sasuke's door.

Sakura noted the open window at the end of the hall, and—bypassing the elevator—tried to lose her pent up emotions in the rush of air that met her as she ran and jumped out the hospital and onto the neighboring rooftop.

* * *

Sakura could only see the blonde hair on the back on her mentor's head as she entered Tsunade's spacious, yet cluttered office. Her chair was turned away from the great double doors, from the desk with shuffled stacks of paperwork, facing the floor to ceiling windows lining the entire wall.

Sakura silently walked into the center of the room, as customary for a ninja summoned by the Hokage, and waited. She knew that Tsunade knew she was there—no ninja would not be able to notice, and she wasn't masking her chakra either—and Sakura couldn't help but notice Tsunade's almost slumped posture.

"Sakura," her teacher finally said, and her chair swiveled around to face hers.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade dropped a sigh, briefly closing her eyes.

She looked a bit worn, and Sakura knew her habits well enough that she detected the slight twitch in her hand as if she was going to grab a bottle.

Tsuande's sharp eyes opened, locking on her own. "How is Hebi?"

Sakura scowled, to which Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Alive."

"Sakura…" Tsunade scolded none too gently, and Sakura felt a bit of shame for her childish reaction—she should have better control over her emotions.

Sakura sighed. "All three need time to recover—some for some wounds to heal, and all of them need rest for their chakra. Nothing difficult."

Tsunade still eyed her like a hawk. "And Sasuke? You only mentioned three."

Her tone was flat, and Sakura mind buzzed. Sasuke was not in Hebi. Sasuke was in Team Se—she winced.

"Sasuke's the team leader, Sakura. Treat him for what he is," Tsunade said harshly.

Sasuke was back in Konoha, but that obviously didn't equate to him being a part of Team Seven, she was learning. Stupid, Sakura. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"I—Forgive me, Tsunade-sama," Sakura said lowly, slightly bowing her head.

"Keep your head," she warned, and Sakura met her eyes again.

"And so? What of his condition?"

Sakura sighed, the thought of Sasuke twisting her insides and the mixed rage and longing and nostalgia rose up into her lungs.

"The wound on his chest healed up nicely—it was a poison that had done most the damage, not just the wears of travel aggravating the wound. I…" she swallowed, thinking of the manner she had exited his room, "I will need to return to attend to his eyes, along with some minor fractures. Otherwise, aside from chakra exhaustion, all he needs is rest."

Tsunade's face morphed into one of concentration as she analyzed her news.

Sakura lowered her eyes, staring at the fine thread of the ornate carpet underneath her feet—some gift from some village or another.

Sasuke doesn't belong to us, to Team Seven, she thought, trying to make the information sink in. He belongs to Team Hebi, he is the captain of Team Hebi. He doesn't not belong to Team Seven…

How was Naruto dealing with this? More than anyone she knew, Naruto never gave up, always believed… and here was the exact opposite of what they hoped Sasuke's homecoming would be like, staring at them rudely in the face.

How could Naruto being dealing with this?

Her thoughts became more worried, because she hadn't seen Naruto since they'd had ramen a few days ago (he had been off on a short mission), but then she wondered if Naruto had even processed it yet. The fact that Sasuke was the leader of Team Hebi.

Sure, they could write it down on paper, read it easy enough— _Uchiha Sasuke leads a three man cell, composed of missing-nins Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin…_- but comprehending it, letting it sink in and emotionally taking a hold of it…

It had taken a minor slap in the face from Tsunade along with Sasuke's probing about his—she stuttered around the word—teammates to make her realize it.

Her thoughts turned as the questions Sasuke had asked earlier about Karin and Suigetsu resurfaced in her mind. Since when had he cared? Since when had he ever asked about them, even when he was still in Konoha, even before he had received the cursed seal and been corrupted by Orochimaru?

What did they have that she and Naruto didn't?

"Sakura," Tsunade's voiced called again, though it sounded less harsh and more tired.

She left her deadening thoughts behind her as she met her mentor's eyes again.

Tsuande took another deep sigh, one hand gently kneading her forehead as if attempting to dispel a headache before she spoke again.

"There will be a trial, the Elders have demanded it." Her tone had become slightly irritated as the Elders were mentioned, and then Sakura understood her sensei's tiredness—Tsunade hated dealing with the political portion of her job, especially when it involved the Elders.

Sakura nodded—this information was obvious.

Tsunade heaved another great sigh, fingers still massaging her forehead. "Sakura, you know I can't guarantee anything—I don't know what they are going to do with them, though I am fairly certain that they will keep Sasuke alive. I will do my best..." her voice becoming disapproving, "But only because for some reason I like you more than I should. Sasuke is a traitor, and I will not allow him to reenter the village without any punishment."

Sakura nodded again, this was understandable and expected.

"It will be a closed trial."

Sakura stared at her blankly, not understanding her meaning as Tsunade gave her a loaded look.

With an irritated sigh, Tsuande said, "You and Naruto will not be allowed to attend."

Folding her hands and resting them under her chin, Tsunade carefully watched her reaction.

A wave of emotion hit her, and Sakura wasn't sure if she would be able to explain and sift through them all. Outrage—they were his teammates!; Confusion—trials were normally open for the public; Trepidation—what would they decide, would he get to stay; Anger—would _they_ stay? They didn't belong here—

And the list went on.

She wondered what Naruto would say when he returned home from his mission.

Tsunade better get some earplugs, because she was certain he'd barge in and tell her exactly what he thought.

But what did she think?

Did she really want to go in and see Sasuke with those other three, standing in front of them, speaking on their behalf for the council, defending them, protecting them?

Could she even handle that?

No, it would break any of the hope she still had left of a reunited Team Seven, of her, Naruto, and Sasuke operating together on missions ever again, but she knew that, had it been allowed, her curiosity, of having to know if what she feared was true, would lead her there.

She sighed as she re-met Tsunade's searching eyes.

"Okay."

Tsunade's brow drew up in confusion.

"'Okay'?" she echoed.

Sakura nodded. "Yes."

"Okay…" Tsuande said, continuing to watch her every face muscle.

Sakura bit her lip to stop from frowning.

"Well then," said Tsunade briskly, "Pleas go and inform Team Hebi that their court date is in two days time. ANBU will be there at 8:00 in the morning to escort them to the trial. Remind them that their life, future, and livelihood will be resting on this court date, so they should be careful not to screw it up."

Sakura bristled. "And why do I have to tell them? Let some ANBU do it themselves."

Tsunade gave her a sparing glance before turning her chair back to face the window.

"No. You'll do fine," she said breezily, her voice wafting back towards Sakura, and she knew that it was useless to argue further.

She stalked out of the office, out of Hokage Tower, and wondered why Tsuande-shishou liked to torture her.

* * *

As she stood in front of the hospital, she didn't know which room she would go visit first.

Team Hebi… and have to deal with—her fists clenched at the thought of the name—_Karin,_ while also putting up with a suggestive Suigetsu who seemingly loved to tease her. On the plus side, Juugo was calm and relatively easy to be around. Of all of Team Hebi, Juugo aggravated here the least.

Sasuke… and she would have to see Sasuke, hear him speak, potentially hear him inquire after the rest of Team Hebi, and suffer through watching everything that was so wrong that she so desperately wanted to make right again.

On the plus side, she would get to see Sasuke.

But seeing him automatically dredged up the whole list of cons, and so, as she stepped into the familiar walls of the hospital, to Team Hebi's room it was.

Giving a brief smile to the secretary at the desk as she passed, Sakura made her way over to the elevator. No stairs for her today—she wanted these visits to be over as quickly as possible. If there was a way possible for getting back at the Hokage, she would definitely do it. And Tsunade would have to know how much she dreaded visiting either room, of course she knew, she trained her for years…

Sakura stepped impatiently into the elevator, irrationally aggravated to see there was another medic already in it.

The medic—she didn't know his name, couldn't place his face—nodded and addressed her.

"Sakura-san."

Sakura only nodded in return, reaching out and pushing the button reading "10" harder than was probably considered normal. She noticed that the number seven was lit up. Inwardly sighing, she realized that she would have to deal with this nameless medic, have to act relatively normal for longer than she expected.

Hopefully he would just keep his mouth shut and let the ride go in silence.

"Ah, Floor Ten, I see," he said conversationally, his brown eyes gazing politely and curiously into her own.

Sakura automatically bit her tongue—stopping herself from making a rude comment such as 'Your powers of deduction amaze me,'—deciding that it would be unacceptable for her, as one of the top medics in the village, to appear so crass to other employees.

So she settled for a nice hum of agreement.

The medic gave her a slight smile, and distantly she supposed that he was relatively handsome, before continuing the bit lopsided conversation, "Say, that's where the returned Uchiha along with his team are being treated, right?"

Sakura stiffened, before collecting herself and giving this man half of a forced smile before answering, "Yes, the Uchiha and Team Hebi are being housed on the tenth floor."

He gave her a crooked grin. "Well, I suppose it goes without saying that you'll be the one healing them. I've heard the stories—you're amazing. I wish I could have your chakra control."

Sakura refrained from rolling her eyes, realizing that she should be flattered. But the words 'the Uchiha and his team' in the voice of an outsider, of one who didn't understand the situation, were ringing around her head, and it made it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Nevertheless, she responded graciously, thanking him and affirming his suspicions of her job on the tenth floor.

He smiled again, opening his mouth to say something more, but thankfully the bell on the elevator rang, the doors sliding open as the number seven denoting their progress up the building above the doors shone.

The bustling of the nurses with charts, of beds being rolled down the hallway consumed their sights, such a contrast from where the sleek, stainless steel door had just stood.

"Well," the medic in the elevator said, "It was nice to get to speak with you, Sakura-san. Good luck on the Floor Ten."

She smiled as an acceptable response, and he gave her a brief wink as he entered the noisy fray outside the elevator.

Sakura sighed with relief as the elevator doors slid shut once more, blocking out the noise along with it.

Eying the numbers above the door warily—8, 9, and finally, all too shortly, 10—Sakura closed her eyes, gathering her mind, before leaving the elevator and its plain doors behind.

.

She let out a groan before pulling the door open, briefly waving at the two ANBU guarding the entrance.

Three heads turned to look at her, the white, red, and orange hair an odd mix she vaguely thought as she steeled herself for this visit.

Sakura shut the door behind her.

Karin instantly gave a huff of irritation, crossing her arms over her chest before haughtily turning her head away from her. For a second, Sakura wished to let her know that she really didn't want to be in her presence, either.

Juugo, as he had been last time, was serenely staring out the window before giving her a kind look and a polite nod.

Suigetsu was lazily sprawled on his bed, leaning casually against the bar of the headrest. He smiled eagerly at her as her eyes swept over him.

He let out a low whistle. "She's back, guys. Didn't I tell you that she'd come back for me?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I didn't," she said flatly, just as Karin said at the same time, also with an eye roll, "She didn't."

Both of them jumped a bit, eyes snapping towards each other. She felt a prickle of anger at their similar response—they were not alike, Sakura would not be like this girl—and she could oddly tell that Karin felt the same way.

Suigetsu ignored this exchange, ignoring her response, and continued.

"So… what is it that you want? Another _checkup_? Do you want me to take my shirt off?" He gave her a sly look. "Do you want me to take _your_ shirt off?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

Sakura fisted her hands, letting out a short burst of air through her nose as she took an angry step towards Suigetsu's bed.

"I don't think she appreciates your comments, Suigetsu," said Juugo calmly on her left.

Briefly, Juugo's words reminding her of herself, she closed her eyes and took a calming breathe.

Suigetsu laughed. "Yeah, I know. I was kidding."

Sakura rolled her eyes as he gave her an apologetic smile, only it only appeared a bit wolfish as he exposed his pointed teeth.

Karin snorted. "Yeah, sure you were…"

Suigetsu smirked at her. "You're only pissed because I'm paying you less attention."

"I am NOT, you idiot! I don't even LIKE you!" Karin yelled, her face contorted in irritation.

Suigetsu only laughed, saying, "Sure, sure, that's what they all say."

Their interaction was slowly annoying Sakura. She didn't, shouldn't have to be here, listening to this. They didn't have to be there at all. They shouldn't even be here.

"Haruno-san, why are you here?"

She gave a slight smile as she looked at Juugo, relieved that she wouldn't have to cut across the other two's spat in order to get down to business so she could get the hell out of here.

"Sakura's fine." Juugo nodded, and now all three of their eyes were on her.

"Well?" Karin began impatiently.

Sakura briefly shut her eyes, willing the emotion to stay buried and beneath her face. Just… the sound of her… demanding something from her… ugh.

Had to get out of here.

"The Elders and the Hokage have decided to put you up on trial in order to determine your futures. Your trial will be in two days, and ANBU will be here to bring you to court."

She sighed, taking in their closed expressions, and almost reluctantly continued.

"The Hokage has asked me to remind you that your entire future rests on what is decided after this trial, so take into consideration your behavior and cooperation."

Juugo nodded, Suigetsu gave her a light eye roll, and Karin turned her nose up at her.

"That's all," Sakura said dispassionately, turning on her heel and walking slowly towards the door. After all, she didn't want to give Team Hebi the impression that all she wanted to do was jump headlong out the window as fast as she could.

However, her slow pace allowed her to catch some words as she exited…

"We could be executed you know. They could decide that…"

"Yeah, we mean nothing to them here, all the care about is Sasuke…"

"What was he thinking, honestly, telling us to come back here with him? Didn't he know this was going to happen?"

Her heart sank so low in her that she thought she might have left it on the other side of the door as she closed it behind her.

.

She wanted to run as fast as she could from the hospital, so naturally she was obligated to do the exact opposite of her desires and go back to the room she was beginning to dread.

The same ANBU was standing in front of Sasuke's door, and she nodded to him minutely as she opened the door and stepped into the room.

Sasuke's dark head turned and his eyes stared at her.

Sakura didn't move into the open area of the room, opting to stand with her back to the door, so she could remind herself not to get sucked up into his eyes, into the emotions welling inside of her, that were dangerously near to relieving themselves through her eyes.

He… told them… to _come back with_ him? After all of the times they had asked him the same thing… he had no problem asking others?

Sakura fervently hoped that her hurt wasn't noticeable on her face, as Sasuke continued to stare coldly at her.

He tilted his head, as if to say, '_Well?'_

She swallowed, fisting her hands.

"You and Hebi are summoned to court in two days to decide your future. You will be in front of the Elders and the Hokage."

She stopped, watching as he absorbed the information, his eyes leaving her face as he thought unknowable things. Was he wondering what they would ask him? Was he already thinking of what he would say? Was he worrying about the fate of his teammates? Was he wondering how they would present themselves to the leaders of Konoha?

She stopped herself from thinking such thoughts as he turned his eyes back on her.

"Hn."

Sakura bit her lip, but a corner of her lip betrayed her and tilted up. Still, after all this time, after such changes, she supposed she could still expect the same response.

His next question jolted her.

"Will you and Naruto be there?"

He was looking at her, his expression so unreadable, and she wondered, could feel the fluttering of hope rise up in her as she briefly wondered at his intentions.

How she wished she could say yes.

"No," she barely voiced, leaving his eyes.

"Hn," he said again, but she just felt so exhausted, so worn down, that she couldn't look up to attempt to analyze his face.

Sighing, she turned towards the door once more.

"Wait."

Her breathe left her, hand on the doorknob, her body tensing. She didn't turn, knowing he would hear.

"What?"

"Will you finish healing me today?" he asked, his tone indifferent and implying nothing.

She sighed, head dropping just a bit.

She knew she should, she had enough chakra, and it was that time of evening where she was just about to leave the hospital anyway. And it was Sasuke. And he asked.

But she just didn't know if she could do it. Sasuke… he, there was just so many conflicting thoughts and emotions where he was concerned. Already, after two visits each to him and Team Hebi, she was emotionally spent. Sakura didn't know if she had it in her to sit through another session with Sasuke and deal with the hope and the bitterness of the three shinobi down the hall.

Besides, Naruto was supposed to return home from his mission tonight.

And suddenly, she was overwhelmed with a need to see Naruto again, to not be alone in all of this any longer.

"Not today," she responded, and without looking back, slipped out of the room.

* * *

She had arrived at the bench in sight of the village gates just as dusk approached the village.

Not many shinobi had been set to return from missions today, she'd presumed, as only a genin team and a chunin passed through the gates before the sky had fallen dark.

It was a warm, calm night, the stars shining overhead, and Sakura dimly wondered what had possessed her to pick _this_ bench.

But she refused to think about it. This time, she was waiting for someone she loved to come _home_, as it should be.

Sakura concentrated on meditating. Naruto was never late on missions, the boy somehow possessing some inexplicable quality to solve _anything_, something that would certainly be useful when he became the Hokage. Not that that was in the record or anything, but Sakura knew he would make a great leader. He just could… love so much.

Her point was that he would be home. She missed him so much right now, a face that wasn't looking at her with reverence, adoration, expectation, speculation… She needed Naruto, because she needed to see a friend who would see her as Sakura—a girl who was suffering through her long lost teammate's return, who was just as confused and feeling the same things as he was.

She just hadn't expected everything to be so… complicated. Sasuke wasn't supposed to come back on his own, well, he was supposed to want to, but he definitely wasn't supposed to bring anything back, he was supposed to find them, be brought back in with her and Naruto at his sides, and they would be the ones defending him in front of the council, he would be their responsibility, and no one would say no to a hero like Naruto or a world-renowned medic like herself.

She sighed, and stared as far as she could down the path leading to the village.

Finally, as the crickets began to buzz, Naruto appeared, reaching the gates at a slow walk.

His face was so well-known throughout Konoha that the ninjas guarding the entrance didn't even ask him for identification.

Slowly, stretching her stiff muscles, she stood, and started taking strides towards him.

The medic-side of her mind quickly assessed him; he didn't appear to have any grave injuries, as he walked upright with no limp, was not favoring any side over the other. He did look tired, but that was to be expected. Though he still possessed his seemingly boundless reserves of energy, Naruto had increasingly been sent on more and more difficult missions. It required more effort and planning than the bulk of missions he had been sent on previously, and Sakura knew that this different sort of concentration was what really wore him out.

He did, however, perk up as he saw her approaching.

"Hey Sakura," came his tired, yet warm voice.

She gave him a wan smile as the neared. "Hi Naruto."

They stopped when she was near enough to see that his forehead protector had fallen a bit lopsided.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and it seemed he was in one of his serious modes again. She wondered what his mission had been.

Sakura shrugged.

"Are you okay?" she asked in turn.

He smiled down at her. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She wound her arms around his waist, pressing her face against his warm, reassuring chest. She felt so tired suddenly, like her mind couldn't keep up with the demands she was making of her body. She sagged against his chest.

With no hesitation, Naruto wrapped his arms around her, almost holding her up.

"Good," she murmured, and she knew that she didn't have to say anything for him to know that something was wrong. And she would probably bet that he knew what it was too.

Slowly, they stepped apart, unconsciously beginning to walk at the same time towards the section of the village their apartments were in.

Sakura was feeling a bit better, and that was because Naruto was home again. She wasn't alone.

At first she thought they weren't going to talk, but then Naruto began speaking.

"So… you treated Sasuke, didn't you?"

She met his gaze, affirming his question with a grimace.

"That bad?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting in concern.

Sakura shrugged, trying to get her words together. "I saw him today. It… it started out fine, I guess. He was… Sasuke, he even asked me about training with Tsunade and if you trained with Jiraiya…"

"He did?" Naruto said, sounding incredulous and pleased.

"Yeah," she said with a bittersweet smile. "But then… everything is just so wrong. He asked after Karin and Suigetsu, Naruto, he _asked_ after them! And then I had to deal with them today too…"

She looked over at him, and his face was drawn and troubled.

"I don't know, Naruto… he just looks at me like I'm still not enough, even after I healed a very painful wound, he still looked at me like I'm still pathetic and weak. I just… it really pisses me off! But now I'm just... tired."

She closed her eyes momentarily, deciding if she should impart this information or not.

"They… I think Sasuke asked them to come. To come home. With him, I think he asked them, they didn't just follow him…" she whispered, as if not voicing what she had overheard would make it less of a possibility.

She slowly looked up at Naruto to find him looking at her intently, his eyes narrowed.

"I'll go with you next time, Sakura-chan. You don't need to go through that alone." He didn't mention what she had just mentioned.

"No, Naruto…" she said slowly, eyes leaving his serious ones, "I don't think I could handle all of us… being there when it's not… when it's so obviously not… right."

She looked back up at Naruto, who was frowning off into the night.

"Okay, Sakura," he lowly, giving her a halfhearted smile before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to walk beside him.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she wondered why her other side felt so empty.


	3. three

**Title:** Of Sameness and Change

**Chapter:** three

**Pairing:** [eventual] sasu/saku

**an:** Please review!

.

**of sameness and change**

_three_

"They're going _on a mission_?"

Tsunade just sighed, fingers rubbing her forehead.

"All four of them dangerous, _missing-nins_, and you guys decide you should send them off on a mission?" Sakura yelled, exasperated.

As soon as the trial had adjourned, Sakura had hustled up to Tsunade's office, to find out what the outcome had been. She had been floored, that of all things, they would send them out in the field.

She took a few agitated steps away from Tsunade before abruptly turning once more.

"You're just going to let them go? They are _missing-nins!_ They won't come back!"

Sakura paced jerkily a few more steps, though still able to hear Tsunade's sigh over her anger before she began to speak.

"It wasn't my decision," Tsunade intoned laboriously, "the Elders made that clear to me."

Sakura turned to look at her again.

"They're going to send ANBU with them, to watch over them."

Closing her eyes, she gestured with the hand not clutching her forehead before continuing, "They won't know… it's a test. To see if they'll come back, prove we can trust them."

The smart, intelligent, clinical side of Sakura could see the sense in that, but they were letting them _leave_, they were _letting_ him leave…

Gathering up her posture, Sakura pursed her lip.

"So that's what they decided at the trial, then. That they would test their _trustworthiness_ by sending them on a mission."

Tsunade looked up and rolled her eyes at Sakura.

"_Yes."_

Sakura huffed. "Well, I must be under a miscomprehension, because I'm fairly positive we have procedure for this. And a closed trial and sending _criminals_ on a mission for _us_ is not part of that procedure."

"Uchiha Sasuke, to the Elders, does not fall under 'normal procedure,'" Tsuande again sighed, slumping more in her chair.

"What does that mean?" Sakura questioned angrily.

"It means…" Tsunade's eyes slid away, "that… his is an unusual case."

Sakura studied her mentor's face.

"What aren't you telling me?" she demanded, hands fisted at her sides.

"That you need to go back to the hospital and finish healing Sasuke. They leave tonight, so—" Tsunade's eyes flickered to the evening sun, "you need to get going."

In a clear sign of dismissal, Tsunade grabbed a bottle of sake before roughly grabbing a stack of paperwork. Sakura exhaled sharply, storming out of the room.

Tsunade wasn't telling her something, something about Sasuke, something important.

.

Sakura wasn't in a state to deal with civilians at the moment, so when she exited Hokage Tower she took a few chakra-enhanced leaps to make it onto the rooftops. The hospital wasn't far.

As the village blurred around her, her thoughts led back to the outcome of the trial. She couldn't believe that the outcome they decided was to send Team Hebi on a mission. Surely the Elders knew to be more cautious about four S-class criminals.

As a side note, Sakura realized she'd classified Karin as S-class.

Thoughts of Karin sped through her mind. Frankly, her spot on Team Hebi puzzled her. When they'd fought that one time, Karin had been so… inadequate. But Sakura knew that Sasuke wouldn't choose anyone who couldn't hold their own…

What was she missing?

Sakura quickly shut down that train of thought. Of course her mind would find the need to try to solve that puzzle, merely because it was a puzzle. Too bad the subject was just purely unacceptable.

The hospital suddenly loomed above her like an ominous comfort as she jumped down from a nearby rooftop.

Setting her pace to a brisk walk, she barreled through the glass double doors, reaching the desk, impatiently holding her hand out, "Uchiha Sasuke's chart, please.", clutching the familiar shape in her hand, pressing the elevator button, entering, exiting, tenth floor.

Her irritation, her curiosity at the information that was being withheld from her spurred her actions into double time.

She passed the two ANBU keeping watch over Sasuke's room with a curt nod before opening the door and walking into the room.

Sasuke was right where she left him, sitting on his bed, the stress that she assumed had consumed the courtroom nowhere present on his countenance.

His dark eyes focused on her as she set the clipboard haphazardly down with a loud clack.

At his raised eyebrow, she took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

"Hi," she said hastily, not expecting and not receiving an answer.

"I need to finish healing you."

Sasuke nodded in acceptance, obviously expecting this visit. He should be healthy before they sent him off on a mission.

"Your forearms and shins should be healed already, so I won't have to waste chakra healing those," she explained.

"Aa."

"So," she said briskly, "I only need to heal your eyes and you should be set."

"No."

Sakura, already opening her mouth to explain the procedure, stopped short.

"'No'?"

Sasuke scowled. "No. My eyes are fine."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "They may seem that way to you, but I found slight damage in the veins connecting to your eye. They should be mended before they grow worse."

"My eyes are _fine_," he snapped.

Sakura scoffed, annoyed. Who was the medical expert here?

"Well, I'm sure that's true now, but a month from now when you over-tax your eyes to the extent that you become blind, you'll be wishing you took these precautions seriously.

"But it's up to you," she said sarcastically, hands on her hips, "Give up your eyesight. Use your Sharingan as a crutch, until someone's smart enough to gouge your eyes out and leave you with nothing."

Sasuke's scowl became even more pronounced, his anger apparent in his posture.

His eyes were hard and untrusting when they met hers.

"Fine," he spat, leaning back against the pillows agitatedly.

Sasuke warily watched her as she came and sat on the edge of the bed.

Taking a deep breath and trying to ignore his penetrating, challenging stare, Sakura raised her arms slowly with the intent to rest her fingers, green chakra already dancing around them, on the sides of his temple.

Her concentration was jolted when a hard force halted her progress. Shocked, she focused back on Sasuke.

His hands were imprisoning each wrist in a crushing grip, long fingers applying enough pressure to form bruises, enough pressure that she could feel her bones rubbing against one another.

The chakra coming out of her fingers weakened, inches from either side of his temple, as the circulation to her hands became cut off.

His eyes bore into hers, transcribing a clear threat into her mind: _If you fuck up, if you fuck up _anything_ that has to do with my eyes, you do not even know your pain._

Disgust and anger quickly overcame her initial shock.

Did he really think she was going to try to do anything debilitating? That she would be here, doing this procedure, if she wasn't qualified?

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, challenging his stare.

"Let go of my hands, Sasuke," she demanded quietly, the anger quivering behind her voice.

Sasuke's lip curled, increasing the pressure just until she thought her bones would snap, her breath coming out in a hiss, before he let go.

The blood and chakra rushed back to her hands, the feeling pins and needles shooting on every inch of her skin. Her first instinct was to rub her wrists, but, as she maintained eye-contact with Sasuke, she didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

Tensely, she brought her fingers in contact with his forehead and began.

.

She finished with a sigh, immediately dispersing her chakra and getting off the bed to retrieve her clipboard.

Sasuke blinked, exercising his eyes a bit before watching her move back to his bedside.

His eyes were less hostile now, as he could already feel the improvement, and he gave her a curt nod.

Sakura returned it with a tight-lipped smile, her energy to deal with him already spent. It was so hard to keep up with him, he went from neutrality to blatant disrespect and threats right back to tentative acceptance in such a short span of time.

"I have a mission tonight," he said, breaking the silence with his odd, yet distinctive, flat, lead-in-to-a-question tone.

She let the pause linger as she studied his composed, yet decidedly more neutral face.

"Yes."

"Can I use my Sharingan?" he asked coolly.

"Yes, but try to only use it when there is need," she cautioned. Sasuke's expression became contemplative, and then he nodded.

Well, that was all, Sakura thought, as Sasuke turned his head towards the window, to the setting sun. She had no further reason to be here.

A bit tiredly, she turned, walking towards the door.

Her hand was on the doorknob when his voice interrupted her. She paused, feeling the familiarity of the situation, before she turned back towards him.

Sasuke's head was slightly cocked to a side, as he regarded her. Unconsciously, she bit her lip.

"The trial… was closed," he said, not quite questioningly, not quite incredulously, but with an undertone of something that she knew was directed towards her.

"Yeah," she responded, "it was."

"Hn," he said, and she tried to interpret his tone. He sounded more relaxed, relieved even, as if what she said had answered something.

Giving him a tentative, miniscule smile, she turned and left the room.

He watched her until the door clicked shut.

* * *

Naruto had found her as she left the hospital. She almost didn't notice him, as she replayed her last interaction with Sasuke again and again in her head, trying to figure him out, but Naruto's buzzing energy made itself known.

Presently, he was speaking loudly a million miles per hour, about the trial, about Team Hebi's mission, about Sasuke, about the Elders, about Tsunade…. Sakura tried to keep up as their steps led them to her apartment.

"Man, I can't believe that they let them go on a mission!" exclaimed Naruto.

Sakura hummed in agreement. "I know… I can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. You would think they would at least torture them first, get any information they could before deciding to send them out on a mission to 'test their trustworthiness...' That way, at least if they were killed, we would have all the intel we could get out of them regardless…"

Sakura trailed off, hands held contemplatively in front of her as they walked.

The unfamiliar presence of silence suddenly accompanied them.

Sakura came back to herself, quickly focusing on Naruto, because with Naruto, there was never silence.

He was staring at her, mouth a bit slack.

"What?" she demanded defensively.

Naruto snapped out of it, shaking his head to-and-fro a bit to clear his head.

"Whoaa…" he drew out, "That was pretty cold, Sakura-chan."

Her mouth tipped to the side in amusement.

"I guess so…" she said reluctantly, "But it's true."

On her left, Naruto scoffed, as if to begin to protest.

"No, really, Naruto, you should be listening to this," she said, volume increasing as she attempted to drown out the beginnings of words forming on his lips, "When you're Hokage, you're going to have to make decisions like this, stuff you won't like, but you'll have to thinking clearly, what's best for the villag—"

"Yeah, yeah yeah," Naruto's hands waved in her face dismissively, his voice bored, "Don't start trying to give me Hokage lessons again, Sakura."

Dismissing the unconscious bit of irritation produced by being cut off and disregarded, she chuckled.

"I'm just saying… Someday you're going to have to think about that stuff."

Naruto smiled back, linking his hands behind his head. "Yeah, yeah," he said again, but with a cheeky smile, added, "But I'll just have you do that for me."

"I'm not going to be your—your _secretary_, or whatever!" she admonished.

Naruto only laughed, holding his hands up in front of his chest. "You wouldn't be my secretary… you'll just make me look good."

Sakura snorted. "Yeah, yeah, and you get all the credit, right?"

He smiled innocently. "That's right, Sakura-chan."

She could only look at him, amused.

Sakura started laughing, and he was soon to follow.

It felt so good to laugh, she realized, after her tense day of waiting during the trial, trying to think of what Tsunade could be hiding, and dealing with Sasuke.

She glowed as their laughter died down, smiling up at Naruto, but his face grew serious.

"About what you were saying, though," he led in, looking at her gravely.

"What part?"

His expressive blue eyes were momentarily obscured as he blinked. "The getting-killed-during-the-mission part."

Her expression quickly sobered. "Well, Tsunade never said what the rank of the mission was, just that ANBU would be watching them."

Naruto grimaced.

"They can't be going on that high of a rank, though," he reasoned, "I mean, they aren't even Konoha ninja."

"Yeah, so they wouldn't risk a high-paying job on nins that are hardly of this village," Sakura agreed.

They walked side by side down the street in a stretch of silence.

Naruto shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Teme better not do anything stupid…" he muttered.

Sakura smiled wanly at him. "Naruto, it's Sasuke. Him and Hebi will breeze through the C or B rank that's given to them."

Eyes trained on the ground, Naruto nodded.

"Yeah…" he said, hesitatingly, "But…"

He bit his lip before looking back up at her.

"They're leaving soon, right?"

Sakura eyed him warily. "Yes…"

"I want to go see him off… You know… in case—"

Sakura's sigh cut him off as she responded, "Yeah, I'll go with you."

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. Naruto didn't need to finish his sentence for her to hear the words he was going to say—they were the same ones echoing around her heart: _in case he decides to escape and not come back_.

Unconsciously, she wrapped her arms around her sides.

The two of them continued walking, shuffling their feet towards Sakura's apartment.

It was Naruto that started talking again first.

"You don't think he…. He wouldn't…"

Sakura heaved another great sigh. Ever since she heard that Sasuke would be leaving again, her heart had twisted into an untimely knot that clenched at the thought of Sasuke walking through those gates, away from her, again.

"I don't know what he would do anymore, Naruto. But he's done it before," she finished bitterly.

Naruto shoved his hands further into his pockets. "But he came back. Willingly."

She voiced the question that had been running around her head since his return.

"He did. But why?"

Naruto let out a sharp puff of air.

"Why does it matter? He's back, isn't he?"

She shook her head. She didn't want to get into this with Naruto right now, who was staring at her intently.

"Yeah," she said.

"Okay."

The pair arrived in front of Sakura's building.

"Hey, wait out here, ok? I just need to drop my bag off really quick, and then we can go to the main gates," she said lightly, gesturing to her heavy bad, laden with medical texts.

Naruto nodded, leaning against the metal railing of the stairs.

"Hurry up, I don't want to miss 'em leave."

Sakura just rolled her eyes before turning and entering the building.

* * *

The sun had set and the sky was dark by the time Naruto and Sakura turned onto the familiar road that led in and out of the village.

They had walked in an uncharacteristic silence, the possibilities weighing down on their minds and quieting their mouths.

Their steps were slow, and unhurried, almost as if they didn't want to reach their destination, didn't want to see…

Three figures were visible where they stood near the gates, due to the light of a nearby streetlamp.

She chanced a quick glance at Naruto, watching as his jaw set and lips tightened in something like resolve.

Sakura's chest tightened as she observed the three of them there. Suigetsu and his sword were missing, but Juugo stood off to one side, big tall and calm as always. Karin was already there too, and Sakura felt an inexplicable pang of envy. She was standing there with her back to Sakura and Naruto, her long legs showcased to their fullest potential by her short shorts and black boots, the rest of her outfit showing off her toned body.

For a short, later irritating moment, Sakura felt short, thick, and childish. Karin looked so… so mature, sexy, appealing, and Sakura could see how men would look at her just like they looked at Ino.

But then there was Sasuke.

Words couldn't describe the feeling, the push and pull, the fight or flight, the twisting, squeezing in her chest at the sight of him.

She could see enough of him from where he stood facing them past Karin. He still hadn't ditched the Sound garb with the thick purple obi, but she could appreciate the way it showed off his muscular chest and lean form.

There was always something about the way he carried himself, his posture, that exuded how powerful, how dangerously attractive he was. It was the way he casually rested his hand on the hilt of Kusanagi, the way his sharp eyes managed to glint in the night, how he set his feet.

He must already see them—they weren't being that discreet.

She heard Naruto intake a sharp breath, and it brought her back to the present, the situation.

Why was she always here when he left?

Suddenly, Sakura knew that she wasn't going to be able to speak. Her twelve year old self lurked around her conscious in a way it hadn't in a long time… and she didn't want to risk looking like that, like she still would do anything, like one person who barely even acknowledged her would be worth giving up her village for.

She didn't think that way anymore, but that twelve year old girl still lurked in the background, close enough that her tongue felt numb.

Unconsciously, she walked a step behind Naruto. She could count on him to do most of the talking anyways.

She wondered how he was going to do it. Was Naruto going to be serious, grave, or was he going to pretend everything was alright, that they were friends, cheerful and obnoxious and playfully insulting as always?

For once, Sakura had no idea.

Their steps were much closer now to the group of three, enough that she could hear their voices.

"…so stupid. They're just going to send us on a mission, outside of the village, before we've served anytime, before we even proved ourselves?" Karin was saying incredulously. "No wonder why you left, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura's hands balled into fists as Sakura and Naruto drew nearer.

There was nothing wrong with this village.

They were so close.

Sasuke's eyes locked on to them over Karin's shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun?" the redhead asked, tensing as she registered the presences behind her.

"Sasuke," Naruto said deeply.

"Naruto."

Their eyes were locked on each other, hardly a word spoken, but a heavy, dense weight came crashing down on them, smothering the pleasantry of the night.

Suddenly, Sakura, still a half step behind Naruto, realized that here they were, the three of them, first time reunited.

Karin turned, opening her mouth to say something as she looked at them, but was interrupted as Sugietstu came bounding into the area.

"Wow, you guys are all so early!" he exclaimed, his sharp teeth flashing in the night.

Zabuza's sword refracted the light as well.

"No, you're late…" Karin muttered derisively.

Perhaps clued in by the low tone of Karin's voice, which would usually be screeching at him, if not by the tense atmosphere, Suigetsu sobered up and took in where her and Naruto stood.

"Whoa, Sakura, didn't expect to see you here," he said with a grin.

She shot him a quick grimace, noting the way Sasuke's eyes flashed to Suigetsu before returning back to maintain his stare with Naruto.

She took a small step closer to Naruto.

"Aw, come on, you can't be serious. Is this your boyfriend? Are you trying to make me jealous?"

Karin huffed.

Sakura only rolled her eyes.

Sasuke's stare intensified, and Naruto clenched his fists, his shoulders straightening.

Sakura wondered what their eyes were saying to each other.

"Sasuke," Naruto started again, his voice mature, deep, so much different from when they were all three twelve.

Sasuke replied with a tilt of his proud head.

Naruto took a step closer, and, now that she was behind him, Sakura marveled how one step could translate Naruto's strength.

Sasuke raised one eyebrow.

"I just want to remind you," Naruto said lowly, "of how lucky you are that you're being given this chance."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as Naruto continued on, arms folded across his chest.

"Konoha is willing to give you a second chance… and sending you on this mission is the start of it."

Naruto looked down at the floor before matching his eyes with Sasuke again, the fire evident in their depths.

"Know what you're doing," he said, the threat and challenge evident in his almost dark tone.

Sasuke inclined his head, but the hand on the hilt of his sword clenched, knuckles white. "I don't need a dead-last like you giving me some petty warning," his voice cool as he addressed Naruto.

Inwardly, Sakura seethed. Naruto was nowhere near dead-last anymore.

Her anger propelling her, she took a bold step next to Naruto, taking his hand, giving a small squeeze.

He grasped her hand, hard, and Sakura knew that behind this cool, calm demeanor, Naruto was anything but.

Sasuke looked at their hands, then back at their faces, until his eyes finally rested on hers, challenging and judgmental as always.

Sakura felt her resolve harden. She turned up her chin a bit, returning his stare.

"Team Hebi," Naruto called, his voice clear, garnering the attention of the other three as Juugo took a step closer to them, Karin focused almost curiously at him, and Suigetsu shot half a grin back as he came into step behind Karin.

Naruto's eyes surveyed them. "I know that you were never Konoha ninjas, but this village is giving you an opportunity to have somewhere to be. Know that Konoha is willing to take you in, but if we even think you are not to be trusted, you will be detained or eliminated. Am I understood?"

He received three, tentative nods at his authoritative tone.

Sakura felt a rush of pride—Naruto would make a great Hokage.

"We've been delayed enough," Sasuke said flatly, his tone almost irritated, "Let's move."

Three sets of eyes flicked to the Uchiha, but all, after sending a few more curious looks at she, but mostly Naruto, they turned and began approaching the gate.

Sasuke remained, looking at them.

Sakura's anger suddenly subsided.

Sasuke was leaving. Despite all that Naruto said, despite all that he could have here, there was the possibility that Sasuke could outmaneuver the ANBU (once he realized they were there,) that he wouldn't return.

He started to turn away.

"Hey, Sasuke," someone called softly, almost tenderly.

Shoulders suddenly rigid, he halted, his face looking back, eyes looking back at her.

Sakura felt Naruto's eyes on her too, and she realized it was her that had spoken.

Sakura bit her lip, trying to think of the right thing to say.

"Good luck on your mission," she said quietly, and Sasuke paid her one last look before turning away and walking to head the team that had turned back, waiting for him at the gates.

_Come back home._


	4. four

**Title: **Of Sameness and Change

**Chapter: **four

**Pairing: **[eventual] sasu/saku

**an: **(8/21/11) I know it's been a long long time since I've updated this story. I just want you to believe me- I've been thinking about it, I swear. It just hasn't been... working, you know? I apologize, though. As soon as I get the inspiration, it's going. So please, read and review and hopefully I'll get right back on track.

.

**of sameness and change**

_four_

The next evening found Sakura bustling around her little kitchen, furiously chopping up vegetables before throwing them into the skillet. She impatiently swiped the loose hair framing her face behind her ears—the one bad part of having short hair was that it didn't always all fit back into a ponytail. With a swift glance at the clock, she hurried over to see how the small pieces of meat were doing in the oven.

Normally, Sakura wouldn't go so far out of her way to prepare dinner. Normally, making a small serving of rice and stir-fry was enough to get her by. Plus, if Naruto was home, she was often dragged out to ramen.

However, Ino had caught her on her way home from the hospital and asked in that no-room-for-refusal manner that they have a nice girl's dinner—at Sakura's apartment, of course.

And though clearing off the mess of scrolls and medical texts on her small kitchen table and preparing a not quite fancy, but not altogether quick meal was not always on her top ten list, seeing her best girl friend was worth the effort.

Sakura couldn't help but think that it was a shame, really, that they didn't get to see each other more often. As the years passed, Sakura and Ino's lives had started to diverge; Sakura had dedicated so much of herself to her studies as a medic-nin as well as chasing after the errant Sasuke, while Ino had honed her clan's techniques and divided her time between missions with Team Ten and the interrogation unit.

Therefore, when the two's busy schedules allotted them time off, the effort was made to get together, and just chat.

Sakura gave a small grin. Naruto was great and all, but sometimes you just really needed to talk to another girl.

Humming to herself, Sakura pulled the meat out of the oven, putting it down before quickly setting the table.

She jumped at the knock on the door.

Predictably, Ino made quick work of the lock and strolled right in, her long hair swaying and her appearance just screaming _I'm attractive and I know it_ in a non-arrogant way no one else's could.

Sakura smiled huge as Ino skipped into the kitchen.

"Sakura!" she squealed, engulfing her into a tight hug. Sakura squeezed her back, laughing as Ino—who'd always been taller than her—slightly lifted her off the ground in her exuberance, as was oft to happen.

Grinning, Ino released her.

"Ino, how are you doing! It's been ages, hasn't it?"

Ino gave a chuckle as she experimentally tasted the sauce simmering on the stove.

"I know, it feels like that, right?" she sighed, "But it's all been going relatively good, you know?"

She grinned. "But this smells too freaking delicious to stand here and drone on about our lives—let's eat!"

Her cooking did smell good. Still lightly chattering, the pair grabbed their plates and served themselves.

The conversation during dinner was relatively light. In her bright, fun manner, Ino had regaled story after story from her most recent missions—"_And at this one point, the girl's hand had been so near Shika's crotch that even Chouji had noticed Shikamaru's 'what the fuck, shit!' look over his food_"—while Sakura swapped accounts of awkward encounters with admirers in the hospital halls—"_And then he asked me to sign it, Ino, I'm serious—stop laughing, it wasn't funny!"_—and giggled like it was their job.

Especially after the stressful week, Sakura felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders as she and Ino exercised their right to be females.

The evening had regressed to night, and Ino and Sakura still sat at her quaint kitchen table underneath the warm glow of her kitchen's lighting feature, sipping glasses of red wine. Ino leaned lazily back in her chair, a content smile on her face, while Sakura had pulled her feet up onto her chair, wrapping an arm loosely around her knees.

"Sakura…" Ino began, leaning forward and propping an elbow up on table, resting her head on her hand, "How are you doing now that he's back?" she asked softly.

Sakura wrapped her arms more tightly around her legs, pulling them closer to her chest, and took another sip of wine. The previous lighthearted mood quickly melted into something heavier. She met Ino's warm, concerned eyes, and sighed.

She'd been surprised the topic hadn't come up earlier, but wise as ever, Ino had waited until she knew she would be more comfortable, less guarded.

She set down the glass on the table.

"I don't know, Ino," she murmured quietly, resting her chin on her knees.

Ino gave her half a small smile. "It's hard, then, isn't it? Because of the… others?"

Sakura mouth formed a bitter smile. "Something like that."

She sighed. "But what makes it worse is… they just share… they just have this camaraderie… and sometimes it reminds me too painfully of… before."

Ino shifted, resting her head in both hands. "You've seen them?"

"Yeah," she gave out a breathy chuckle, "yeah I had to treat them. All."

"Even him?"

"Yeah…" she sighed, unconsciously rubbing her wrist, "even him."

Ino hummed sympathetically. "It must have been hard to see them all together like that."

Sakura almost agreed, but then shook her head. "No, the others were together… He had his own room."

"So you had to go in all on your own?" Ino replied with apprehension. "How was that?"

Sakura sighed, taking another sip of wine. There weren't really adequate words.

"I don't know. Not much of a reunion, I guess," she said lazily, sounding much more blasé than she felt.

"Huh."

Sakura shrugged. "I guess I shouldn—I mean, I guess I didn't have that high of expectations."

Ino gave a small, chagrined smile. "Well I guess this is Sasuke we're talking about."

Her eyes followed the wine she swished around in her glass. It had almost been a full 24 hours since he'd left. She wondered how he was doing, what he was thinking… where he was. She could see him, lethal in his grace, striking down faceless opponents, toppling all hurdles with the same apathetic face he'd always given her.

"Yeah," she replied noncommittally.

Her hand stilled when she looked back at Ino, a frown marring her beautiful face.

Ino's face grew hesitant. "Sakura… I just… I've been meaning to ask—not because I still do or anything!" she said hurriedly, her hands almost rising in front of her in defense, "I was just wondering, if, you know…"

She trailed off, glancing nervously at the suddenly guarded expression of Sakura.

She tried again.

"I mean do you still… you know…"

Sakura was quiet before answering her unfinished question. "No," she murmured softly, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest and slight constricting of her lungs, "I don't think I can anymore."

Ino paused, seemingly testing her words out in her head.

"Don't think you can or don't think you should?"

Sakura bit her lip, and reflexively turned her head away.

"Does it matter?"

"Sakura," said Ino gently, "It does."

Sakura blinked hard at the traitorous tears stinging her eyes as she valiantly attempted to meet Ino's sympathetic gaze.

She replied with a little more vehemence than her friend deserved.

"It _doesn't_ matter. He's just…. He's not worth it."

Ino looked like she could say more, but, with a small shake of her head, she instead only bit her lip and reclined back in her chair.

* * *

The following day was uneventful, but that was what made it seem to never end. Neither Sakura nor Naruto were informed on the duration of Hebi's mission, had no idea where it was, or what they had to do… and yet even after a day Sakura was feeling apprehensive.

The Sasuke she knew would, if he was determined enough (and Naruto's challenge should have been enough), find a way to complete the mission in the shortest, most effective way possible to prove his superiority or strength or to make some other arrogant claim.

Realistically speaking Sakura did know that travel time alone could account for a two-or-more day mission. The type could determine the time frame as well, but Sakura knew she could exclude escort missions (if the village couldn't trust them, why would they entrust a client's safety to them), and other types of civil missions that would require Hebi to interact with other villages for a long period of time, similar to the mission Team 7 did years ago in Wave.

Their mission would most likely be something fast, nothing too serious, just a test to see if they'd do as they'd been instructed.

Just a test, Sakura tried to reassure herself, but she just had this feeling. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong… Tsunade had seemed like she was hiding something the other day… Maybe there were no ANBU watching over them and Tsunade hadn't wanted her to find out?

That would be unlikely. Even the Elders weren't stupid enough to let such powerful shinobi loose.

Sakura spent most of her day at the hospital, busy as per her usual routine. She was called in for countless consults, performed numerous operations, checked up on various patients—and did it all in a disconnected state.

She couldn't help it, couldn't prevent her thoughts from betraying her worry…

Would the ANBU be enough to stop them?

Sakura was sitting in the break room, her shift almost over, tapping her fingers absently as her eyes stared unseeing out the window at the sunset.

Perhaps for one of the first times in her life, she wished Sasuke wasn't so strong. If he weren't so powerful, so deadly, she wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of him not coming home; she wouldn't worry about him overtaking the ANBU. She wouldn't have to ignore the mixed feelings raised by the possibility of him never coming home.

She didn't know what she should… didn't know what she _could_ feel for him anymore.

Sakura decided not to think of it. The situation seemed too similar to the one five years ago… surely that was raising these questions.

Heaving a great sigh, Sakura shifted in her armchair. She felt a mixture of exhaustion and restlessness: the former from her extended chakra use at the hospital.

Restless because she just couldn't shake this trepidation, of feeling that something was wrong.

Enough, she decided. Sakura stood up so sharply that the chair scooted back. She made her way over to the window and opened it, briefly inhaling the warm air, the fresh scent of the village.

As the wind whipped through her hair, rooftops disappearing underneath her feet, Sakura locked in on a destination: Hokage Tower. It certainly had appeared like Tsunade was avoiding something when they last talked about Sasuke.

.

Tsunade did not look amused.

Actually, she looked far from it.

"_What_," she spat agitatedly, "the _hell_ do you want, Haruno?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, noting the small pile of empty bottles next to her mentor's desk. Even after a full 24 hours, Tsunade normally didn't drink that much.

Tsunade was still glaring at her.

Quickly, Sakura strategized.

Meeting her gaze, Sakura merely crossed her arms and stared coolly back.

"_Well_?"

Tsunade took a swig from yet another bottle.

Sakura knew that her silence would bother Tsunade more than any words she could say.

She strode over to her desk purposefully, bending over to peer at the bottles.

She looked at Tsunade and raised her eyebrow. "Why all the drinking today, senpai?" she drawled mockingly. It felt good to do something, to not be sitting, to not be wondering.

To not be waiting.

Tsunade maintained her glare before looking in the opposite direction.

"Well?" she asked impatiently, tapping her foot.

"If this is about Uchiha then get the hell out of my office," Tsuande snapped, swiveling her chair sharply to face Sakura.

Sakura took an unconscious step back at the fierce look on Tsunade's face. Surely it wouldn't have been too hard to guess, but to come out like that right away, without any prompting…

"Tsunade-sama, I… I didn't mean—"

Tsunade snorted. "Oh, yes, yes, _sure_, you didn't _mean_ to, you just waltz into my office, and unconsciously start mocking me, your Hokage, for no reason at all," she interjected scathingly. She gave one swift, impatient gesture towards the door.

"Get out."

Sakura's mouth had gone slack, her mind put into bit of a stupor at the harshness of her teacher. It had been a long time since she'd seen Tsunade this angry, or upset.

"Why haven't you skipped over out the door yet, Sakura? I wish to drink in peace."

Sakura continued to stare at Tsunade with wide eyes.

The only other time she had seen this reaction from was when she walked into the office unannounced and found Tsunade completely wasted, clutching a photo in her hand. As soon as she'd noticed her, she'd been utterly dismissed from the room. Scared of her mentor's raw anger (though she noted it couldn't all be directed at her), she had fled from the room.

Sakura had been thirteen then.

She was now seventeen, no longer under Tsunade's tutelage, a strong, capable kunoichi, and she would stand her ground. Tsunade's reaction only proved that there was something going on.

"No," she stated, setting her jaw as she tried not to flinch under Tsunade's gaze.

Sakura was counting on Tsunade only thinking of her as her apprentice, not as any other ninja of the Leaf, because this would definitely be labeled under insubordination if she wished to punish her.

"_No_?" she repeated incredulously. "You dare defy my direct order?"

Sakura steeled herself, trying to keep herself calm.

"I want to know what you aren't telling me about Sasuke," she said, trying to maintain a connection with Tsunade's hazel eyes.

Tsuande gave a short, humorless laugh. "You think I have to tell you everything? Just because it has to do with Uchiha you think you have the right to know?"

Sakura exhaled shortly before trying again. "Look, I know something's up. Sasuke's good. And it wouldn't make sense to put him on a highly dangerous mission, considering all the intel Sasuke could give us on anything. He should be back, Sasuke should be back by now, so it doesn't make sense. So I'm asking, what—"

"_Sasuke_ this, _Sasuke _that," Tsunade sneered. "Why do you care, Sakura? He knocked you out and left you on a goddamn bench!"

Sakura's heartbeat seemed to suspend for a moment before beating again painfully in her chest. Her jaw slack, she took a step back.

"You don't even know why he's back! _I _don't even know why he's back!" Tsunade yelled, waving the hand clutching her sake angrily.

"But…" Sakura tried to start, to argue back, but all she could think of was her heart _thud-thud—_thudding and the heaviness setting into her chest.

"_Why do you insist on waiting_?" she snarled, leaning forward in her chair.

"Because, because… because he's my teammate! He… means something to me!" Sakura stammered, finally coming up with some type of answer.

"Orochimaru was my teammate, but you don't see me pining over him," Tsunade spat.

Sakura spluttered, Tsuade's unspoken accusation a harsh blow. "I—I do not _pine_. And do not compare Sasuke and Orochimaru! Orochimaru never came back!"

"They're more similar than you think," Tsunade hissed.

"No… no…" Sakura repeated, trying to block out Tsunade's words from her head.

"And you choose to _love_ this boy… Even I wasn't that stupid… A traitor…"

Sakura took another step back from Tsunade, whose eyes were half-crazed, hand and bottle shaking.

"Stop, Tsunade-sama. You've had too much to drink…" Sakura pleaded. "Just stop…"

She seemed to calm down a little, because the anger fled from her hazel eyes and she slumped in her chair, hands covering her face.

"Ugh, Sakura… never become Hokage, okay? It would ruin you."

The change in tone was too much for Sakura—she was still in some state of shock and she could hear nothing except _why do you insist on waiting…. He left you on a bench… you choose to love this boy… a traitor…_

"What?"

Tsunade peered at her between her splayed fingers.

"You are forced to make terrible choices, Sakura. Or forced to go along with them when you're overruled."

Worry tightened in her stomach like a knot. "What…"

"Just go. Get out of here, I'm serious."

Staring at her sensei, she didn't think she could stay any longer, anyways.

Stumbling slightly, Sakura turned and exited the door.

* * *

She blindly walked the streets of Konoha, it now dark and most inhabitants asleep. Her breathing was shallow.

Everything Tsunade had said… she'd avoided thinking about. Because she knew that thinking about it would make her feel this way.

Lost, confused, worried, heartbroken, desperate….

It didn't occur to her that she'd walked to Naruto's apartment building until she was walking up the front steps, but she knew that's the only place where she could go.

She was alone at her apartment, and she couldn't be alone.

Mindlessly, she climbed the wall, slipping into Naruto's kitchen window.

The dark room stank reminiscently of ramen, and its familiarity was helping Sakura calm down.

She padded towards the bedroom, where she could sense Naruto sleeping.

The door closed softly behind her as she stepped into his room. Naruto was resting, facing away from the door as he lay peacefully on his bed.

_A traitor…_

Biting her lip, she crept softly to his bedside.

With only a second's hesitation, she stood and stared at the bed.

Naruto would understand.

She slid under the covers, facing him and his broad back.

It hurt, what Tsunade had said, and it was still ringing through her head. It had been all of those betraying thoughts in her head that she'd tried to squash thrown right into her face, with the intent to injure.

She just wanted them to go away.

Biting her lip, she hesitantly reached out to put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. His t-shirt was soft under her hand.

She shook his shoulder lightly.

"Naruto," she whispered, "Naruto, wake up."

Naruto groaned, resisting for a moment before groggily turning to face her, eyes still closed.

A part of her instantly regretted her decision. Surely Naruto had spent the day training hard, probably with multiple shadow clones simultaneously, and was probably so tired.

A larger, more selfish part, argued that she already felt better and he hadn't even woken up yet.

His eyes fluttered open as she hissed his name again.

"Sa…kura?" he mumbled groggily, blinking.

"Yeah," she whispered shakily. She could feel traitorous tears building behind her eyes, and she tried to swallow them down best she could.

He shifted again and suddenly he was wide awake.

"Sakura?" he whispered worriedly, and she quickly looked away as his eyes met hers.

She tried not to cry, because to cry meant that this affected her more than she wanted anyone, including herself to believe.

"Sakura, what's wrong?"

She tried to think of a way to phrase it, all of it, her confusion, her anxiety, everything.

Slowly, she met his eyes, expressive and sharp even in the night.

"I…" she started, biting her lip before continuing.

"I want him to come home," she admitted quietly, her voice wavering and she didn't know how much longer she could hold back the tears.

His mouth tightened and he momentarily broke eye contact with her before looking at her with sympathetic and pained eyes.

He understood, just like he always did.

She rolled over to face the rest of the room, silently letting Naruto know she didn't want to say anything more than that. She burrowed deeper under the covers.

She heard Naruto shifting behind her. An arm wrapped around her middle, pulling her back to rest against his chest.

His forehead momentarily pressed against her neck.

"Me too."

Time passed, and she felt Naruto's breaths even out.

She felt comforted, safe, protected in Naruto's arms, but that was all. She didn't feel content, she couldn't help but feel that it wasn't quite enough.

Not for the first time, Sakura desperately wondered why she couldn't have fallen for Naruto instead, all those years ago. Sure, he'd been immature, annoying, then, but he'd grown up.

He'd matured into this beautiful person, this handsome man, this forever caring and protective teammate, and she hopelessly wished that she could've felt something more than platonic love for him.

He would have treated her right, like the most precious person in the world.

Whatever woman ended up with him would be lucky, luckier than she could put into words.

Instead, she had fallen for Sasuke. Sasuke, the avenger. Sasuke, the Uchiha with a stone cold heart.

Sasuke, the traitor.

And the scars of that betrayal, that former, unrequited love still remained on her heart.

* * *

Abrupt knocking on the bedroom startled Sakura from her dreamless sleep. Naruto's arm still wound protectively around her waist, and she could feel him stirring behind her, a bit slower to awaken than she was.

Apart from the offending noise, the first thing she noticed was that it was twilight, the sun not quite making it dawn yet.

Who the hell was in Naruto's apartment?

"Sakura!" she heard a shout, "Are you in there?"

Sakura could recognize that voice in a heartbeat.

"Ino?" she exhaled tiredly, but the desperation laced in her friend's tone of voice had her shrugging of Naruto's arm, ignoring his incoherent grumbles as his sleep was disturbed.

Sakura cracked the door open to see a frazzled Ino, waiting with her fist raised to pound on the door again.

"Oh, you were in there!" She said, sounding relieved, yet franticly continued. "You weren't home, I didn't know where to find you, I don't know, thank god I thought to check here…"

"Ino, focus," Sakura said. "Why did you come find me?"

Ino's unfocused eyes snapped right back to Sakura.

"You're needed at the hospital. ASAP. Patients in critical condition, and Tsunade's too drunk and Shizune nearly had to bring two jounin back from the dead today, her chakra's exhausted. They need you."

Sakura's professional mind had kicked in as soon as Ino had said the word 'hospital'.

"Okay, hang on, let me get my shoes," she said hurriedly, turning back into Naruto's room to find her sandals.

Naruto was sitting on the bed, watching her.

"What is it?" he urged.

Locating both left and right, she quickly strapped them on.

"Hospital call. I left my beeper at home."

"Oh… Wait, why didn't you—"

"Sorry Naruto, no time," she smiled wanly. "Thank you so much," she said, brushing a quick kiss to Naruto's forehead.

"Yeah," he said, scratching his neck as he watched Sakura hustle out of the room and heard her and Ino leave his apartment.

* * *

Her pace was quick as she strode into the hospital, Ino at her heels.

"How many did you say there were?" she asked as she determinedly turned a corner.

Ino paused. "I… I think four?"

Her stomach dropped. "Four?" she repeated, her strides quickening.

"I don't know, I think so. I was sent for you immediately."

Sakura could see the OR at the end of the hallway, and the mess of nurses surrounding it.

Their relief was visible even from this distance as they saw her approaching them down the hallway.

One nurse ran up to her.

"Four patients, all but one in extreme critical conditions. One is already stable, she's in a room already. The other three—"

"Names, what are their names?" she implored, even though her heart screamed at her not to ask.

"Uchiha and his teammates, ma'am, they need extensive care, they're already on the bridge…"

But the nurse's voice faded in her mind as realization set in.

Sasuke had suffered massive injuries, injuries that they needed _her_ to try and fix.

He could be, probably was, dying.

_Sasuke_.

She couldn't think, she knew she needed to clear her head and concentrate on the medicine and forget that she even knew who would be on the table, but she couldn't think.

Fear had her heart beating a million miles per hour in her chest.

Thousands of thoughts flooded through her mind. How had this happened? This was Sasuke, how could this have happened…?

Distinctly, the one she caught before she stepped through the OR doors was: _Jesus, weren't there medic-nins on that ANBU team..?_


	5. five

**Title:** Of Sameness and Change

**Chapter:** five

**Pairing:** [eventual] sasu/saku

**an: **hello. it's been a disgustingly long time since I've updated, and I'm really sorry about that. I'm sure many of you checked your alerts and were confused when "Of Sameness and Change" was at the top of recently updated. You probably thought... which one is this? What's this one about? If you were one of those people and went back to refresh your memories before reading this. I love you. Thank you. If you were eagerly awaiting this update and still remembered what was happening and didn't have to reread it... I love you. Thank you.

I truly am sorry for the delay. Nothing was working for me. Over the summer, I lost a lot of confidence in my writing. But finally I felt like I could come back to this. Please review! I would appreciate it so much.

.

**of sameness and change**

_five_

Sakura sat slumped against the wall of the on-call room, stubbornly holding her eyes shut.

In her fatigue, every noise was louder.

She could hear the pounding of feet coming from down the hallway.

She could tell it was Naruto from the distinctive feel of his chakra signature.

Was she ready to see him..? She didn't want to face what happened. Not yet. She would like to ignore the potential implications as long as possible.

It didn't matter. She was too tired to move. And really, he would have found her eventually. There was no way he would not be worried after how she left earlier this morning. Would it still be considered this morning? Or was it tomorrow already?

The concept of time had slipped away from Sakura after working furiously in the OR. When bones were mended, tissue successfully weaved back together, skin closing, it felt like there was enough, that she would have enough time to save them all.

When a vessel would burst; when blood spurted in a relentless stream down her front; when no matter how much chakra she pushed into the bodies on the tables the repairs would still come undone—Sakura frantically could feel every precious second accelerate away, faster and faster, denying her time to properly process, think…

The footsteps were even louder now.

Tilting her head back to hit the wall, Sakura exhaled slowly. Any second now….

The door burst open.

"Sakura!" he yelled, in panic, before he must have located her sitting on the floor.

She didn't automatically open her eyes, she was so tired…

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened?"

A hand ghosted on her neck, and although it was a tender gesture, she knew he was half-using it to make sure she still had a pulse.

She was worrying him. She didn't want to worry him. Sakura forced herself to open her eyes.

"Relax, Naruto. I'm fine," she stated blearily with a tired attempt at a reassuring smile.

He was crouched in front of her, a large hand on her shoulder, blue eyes wide with concern.

At her words, his expression didn't change.

She looked down, following his eyes as he examined her. With a weary indifference, she noted the dried blood on her arms and neck.

The front her shirt clung to her, still damp, stained a murky reddish-brown. If she pressed down on it, she thought, it too would spurt blood.

After she'd done all she could, it had taken all the energy she had to stagger to this on-call room, to slide tiredly down to the floor.

She supposed she should have changed.

Sakura looked back up at him, meeting his grave stare.

"Who was it?" he asked.

Her eyes flitted away from his, seeking out the wall behind his shoulder.

"Who was what?" she said with a hint of bitterness. "Who was I healing, whose blood is on my shirt, which one died?"

A quiet exhale. "You lost a patient?"

Sakura bit her lip, memories of the despair and panic and heart monitors flat-lining interrupted her empty thoughts.

"….Yeah."

It really didn't matter who it was that she lost, when she failed a patient. It didn't matter at all, because she was the best. She was one of the best medic-nins in Konoha, in the world; it was her job to fix them, to make them survive. And when she lost a patient, whether she knew them or not, that same feeling flooded through her.

_Pathetic. Weak. Failure._

Perhaps that's what made her such a good medic to start with. Back in the Academy, she'd always been the most book-smart. Half of it was gift, the other rigorous study. She knew she could have gotten by just relying on her innate knowledge, but that little perfectionist tick in her, along with a healthy fear of failure, pushed her to only allow herself to receive the best scores on the exams.

Things evolve, though, when that in balance is a life, not a test score.

Naruto's expression looked torn. She could see his desperation, wanting to ask her who, but at the same time his hesitance to make her revisit that moment. He knew how the death of a patient affected her.

He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair.

"Was it…" he asked, low voice breaking.

Sakura bit her lip, taking in the way Naruto would quickly flit between making and breaking eye contact.

Slowly she shook her head, fixing her gaze at some point over his shoulder.

She heard his sigh of relief.

Sakura also felt relief, but it mixed poorly with the guilt, the bitter swirl pooling in her stomach.

"Sakura," Naruto said, and she realized her eyes had been slipping close as she blinked, looking back at him.

His lips were pressed thinly together, the pads of his fingers pushing against each other as his arms rested on his bent knees. He still hadn't sat down, still balancing on the balls of his feet.

His blue eyes were dark and pensive as he regarded her.

"…What happened?"

"I don't know."

Thoughts nagged at her mind. Initially, as she came to the realization that she was in fact treating Sasuke and Team Hebi, she'd wondered why the ANBU medic didn't heal them, if they got injured on the mission.

But now, thinking about it with a more level head…

What if they sustained those injuries as they tried to escape?

Sakura internally winced. She had hoped that Sasuke would have been smarter, that he had genuine reasons for coming back. If not then… what had his purpose here been? What would have been the point?

Possibilities raced through her mind. It didn't feel right, didn't make sense… but Sakura couldn't quite put it past Sasuke to have some intricate plan in place to completely discredit the idea.

And if this were the case, if Sasuke _had_ been hurt trying to elude the ANBU…

What would happen to Sasuke now?

.'.'.

"You look like shit."

Sakura blearily blinked her eyes open, her vision twisting and distorting colors as they refocused.

Wisps of blonde hair brushed past her face as she was pulled up by her arms from her slumped position on the floor to a sitting position against the wall.

She groaned in protest, glaring weakly at the beautiful blonde sitting cross-legged in front of her.

"Go 'way, Ino…" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands.

Ino gave her a small smile. "I brought you another set of clothes," she said softly, patting the neatly folded pile laying over one of her knees.

Sakura smiled briefly back before reaching over and taking the clothes. Her shirt had dried, and now it was all crusty and flaking red. She needed to shower, to get the blood off her skin.

"Are you okay?" her friend asked, placing a hand on her knee.

Sakura looked back into Ino's blue eyes, and shrugged.

"Good enough," she answered, pushing herself up against the wall. Ino stood with her, hands reached out as if to help, but never quite touching her.

Ino could accommodate, but never quite understand Sakura's fear of dependence and uselessness.

"So…" Ino started, and, green eyes flicking to her face, Sakura could tell that Ino was trying to break the tension present in the room.

"I ran into Naruto before I came here," she said with a suggestive smile.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Oh?"

"Mhmm," she hummed, a devious twinkle in her eyes. "So I know last night was really hectic and frantic, but the LAST place I thought you'd be was at Naruto's… answering his bedroom door—"

Sakura raised an amused eyebrow. "Did you forget the part where we both had clothes on?"

Ino smirked. "Just saying…. I think you've been holding out on me. "

"Ino, shut up. It's Naruto," Sakura said exasperatedly.

"Yeah, who is strong, tall, sexy…" Ino listed, before she looked at Sakura's face and started laughing.

Sakura couldn't deny that Naruto had… grown. Up. Grown up well. It didn't help that he was practically the village's savior. But it was Naruto. It made her feel sick to think of her and him being intimate beyond that of friends.

"I'm going to go shower," Sakura said loudly, pushing past a still laughing Ino to get to the door.

She was walking hurriedly down the hall as she heard the remnants of Ino's last shout: _"I bet it's a cold one!"_

Sakura just shook her head, amused. Only Ino could manage to get her moving after losing a patient.

.

The water was a rusty orange, she observed as it swirled around her feet and down the drain. She'd thrown out her clothes, knowing after years of experience that it was easier to just buy new ones.

The water was scalding hot, but the slight pain of it was not enough to distract her from her spiraling thoughts.

Ino had not been a large enough distraction. This loss just hit closer to home, although she barely knew them. Even though she did all she could, would they blame her? Would he? Would they be sympathetic to a healer's limitations, or accusatory?

She bowed her head under the powerful stream.

Had they been trying to defect?

What did it mean if they had?

She felt heavy, like if she was placed in the ocean, she would sink right to the bottom.

It had been enough time. She knew that she had to do post-op evaluations, on all of them. She had to see all of them.

She stayed in the water awhile longer.

.'.'.

When she entered their room, there was only a heavy silence.

She got both their charts.

The silence was almost overwhelming. Even though she'd been treating them for a limited time, she was accustomed to their bickering, Suigetsu's inappropriate comments, Karin's sneers…

Granted, the lack of a third bed would certainly affect them. Especially when it had even affected her, even for how little she'd known him.

But… her skin prickled. Almost as if she had entered enemy territory. She had never felt like that in her own hospital… and it made her feel extremely uneasy.

She turned around, appraising the two patients in the room.

Karin was rigid against the pillows, looking like she would give anything to be able to used her curled up fists—which, along with Suigetsu's—were inhibited by the handcuffs around her wrists. Her skin looked especially pale surrounded by the red of her hair, and Sakura instantly was reminded by how much blood she had lost.

She was looking pointedly away from Sakura.

Sakura bit her lip. She didn't want to imagine, didn't want to try to sympathize with how it would feel to lose one of her teammates… wasn't willing to think about it.

But they'd been in enough tight scrapes, they'd been close enough that Sakura didn't really have to.

Suigetsu was also staring resolutely out the window, past the bed where Juugo had been.

Something seemed awkward, off, about his appearance, until she realized he didn't have his sword. She had never seen him without it. And now is hands were handcuffed to the bed.

She couldn't avoid it anymore. They must have been leaving. There was an extra ANBU outside, and they were handcuffed. She could see the chakra seals.

Suigetsu was stiff. Neither had acknowledged she'd entered the room, or that she was facing them now.

Sakura supposed she could understand why they were hostile. But… if they really had tried to betray the village, did they expect anything less? They should be happy to still be alive.

So, without saying a word, not asking for permission, she approached them and began evaluating their condition.

The whole exchange felt wrong. Karin hadn't said as much as a word, had only tensed and glared the opposite direction. She didn't even insult her.

Suigetsu… hadn't spoken either. His silence unnerved her the most, as if _she_ were the one who'd done something wrong.

She methodically went through the checkups through the tense atmosphere, writing down the appropriate words in the appropriate spaces on the chart, until she finished.

She put the charts away, grateful that at least this part was finally over, until the first words were spoken in the room.

"…Bitch."

Sakura stopped in shock. Her head turned to see Suigetsu sneering at her. Scoffing, he spat on the floor in her direction. He gave her one last cold glare, baring his row of sharp, pointed teeth before resolutely looking out the window once more.

Although she obviously knew that the interactions between she and Suigetsu didn't even qualify to make them acquaintances, this was a complete reversal of his normal teasing habits—this was said with malice.

Confusion rippled through her as she continued out the door, wondering what it was that wasn't quite adding up.

Her mind was troubled as she walked down the hallway to Sasuke's room. Karin had never liked her, so she never expected anything less than barbed words and rolled eyes, but Suigetsu… had always teased her. Had almost seemed like he… trusted her? Maybe it wasn't trust, but it was more than what she got just now.

There were four ANBU stationed outside of Sasuke's room, and Sakura raised an eyebrow at the heightened security. Without a doubt, he would be handcuffed and chakra-blocked, too.

Her teeth pulled at her bottom lip.

If that was Suigetsu's reaction… Sasuke's would surely be worse.

Knowing the deep breath wouldn't help but doing it anyways, Sakura turned the knob and opened the door.

She heard it shut behind her as she briskly walked to the counter, grabbing the patient-file without looking at him.

Already, she felt as if the temperature had dropped fifteen degrees. She could feel his eyes on her back, and she was surprised there weren't burnt holes there already.

Sakura cast her eyes at the ceiling.

She _really_ didn't want to do this.

She turned around.

Just as she pictured, Sasuke was sitting straight, with perfect posture, against the back of the cot. His hands were cuffed to the side rails. She knew without a doubt that his chakra was sealed. He was tense, all anger and rage contained in taught muscles.

She didn't even want to describe his eyes.

Sakura took a quick breath before saying, "How are you feeling?" She cursed herself and the meekness of her voice. She was stronger than this. She had held his life in her palms not so long ago.

He only glared at her.

Well, if he was going to be difficult, she might as well just get it over with.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but… Juugo didn't make it. The others are recovering, but there was nothing we could do. I'm sorry," she whispered, bowing her head, and wondering exactly what his other teammates meant to him, exactly.

"How _dare_ you say 'sorry'," he hissed, and her eyes quickly jumped to meet his.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times in disbelief.

"What do you mean, _'how dare I_'? I did the best I could, trying to heal all four of you!"

His lip curled. "Yes, I'm sure it was your best. I'm sure you did the best your little village told you to do."

"What my village told me to do? It's my job, Sasuke! I healed you, didn't I! I wish I could have saved you all, but I AM sorry I couldn't."

He only looked at her, his stare piercing, stripping her down until all that was left were the failures of just-a-girl.

She was sick of this, sick of him being able to take anything and everything away from her, of feeling useless. She wasn't. Not anymore.

She took a step closer to him, breathing a little heavier, raising a hand and pointing at him.

"You come to me bleeding, _half-dead_, and I fixed you. I kept you alive when others couldn't and _I fixed you_. I fixed you, I fixed your _beloved team_. If it wasn't for me you would have _died_. So you don't get to sit there and look at me like I'm not good enough anymore. I passed 'good' a long way back. You would be _dead_ if it wasn't for me."

"You think this is just about _you_? This is about so much _more_ than you. This is about your _pathetic_ village!" He seethed, looking tense and ready to jump out at her, at anything.

She bristled.

"What are you talking about?" She yelled exasperatedly, hands flying to grasp her hair.

"DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Sasuke bellowed, and all Sakura could do was take a step back, mouth agape. It was the loudest she ever heard him speak.

"Well I could make some guesses! After the village put all this trust and faith in you, you were just GOING TO BETRAY US ALL AGAIN?"

He scoffed at her words.

"You liar," he hissed.

"To think," he uttered, softly, yet laced with malice, "after all this time of you and Naruto and Kakashi trying to talk to me about _teamwork_, and _trust_…" His eyes snapped to hers as he trailed off, she could see the red trying to form in them, and she lowered hers immediately, instincts telling her that if she got caught in that trap, he could potentially ruin her mind, despite knowing that with his chakra sealed, he couldn't, "….loyalty… it was all _bullshit."_

Her mind was a jumbled mess, what he said didn't make sense, and she couldn't seem to form sentences, all she could say was, "_What?_"

"Get the fuck out," he spat dismissively, eyes flicking to the door.

Sakura took a step closer, eyebrows knit, eyes disbelieving.

"No! What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean, bullshit?"

"You never could lie, Sakura. Stop trying. It's pathetic. You're pathetic," he sneered, eyes burning into hers, demeaning, commanding, full of cold sparks.

She glared at him, fists clenched. "I'm not lying, Sasuke, and I am _not_ pathetic. I don't know what you're talking about. But fuck you. I just spent hours saving your life, poured my chakra into your body. Fuck you. You're fucking _welcome_."

And with that, she left, no post-op checkup, feeling like if he died, she wouldn't care.

_(only, she really would.)_


End file.
